OF THINGS TO COME.

2008-03-29T16:20:00.000-07:00

i slept with lovely norah jones playing last night.

the evening was meet up with shad first. we headed to paragon;s fishandco. for dinner , where shan joined us! haha. dinner was fab! and im surprised he hasn't forgotten about 17th's bd gift. imported from shanghai......hahaha.then the 2 boys were tour-guided to clark quay. hahaha. we hung round and walked round abit before heading to the tcc round the area to chill out again (: aft that was pictures galore! my feet were like WET standing in the fountain area. anyways , g-max date soon hons!

aft that was suppose to meet up with the girls. but , plans were changed! caught the bus back to newton and trained back from there. then met up with gabs , where we decided to meet debbie. 7-11 for abit of supper and we like totally camwhored like crazy pls. haha. i was drained tired! walked gab to the nr2stop and biee and i walked back home.

okay! i needa go get stuff done now! heading out in abit.

2008-03-28T13:30:00.000-07:00

mom came to the room and asked if i wanted to take foundation at curtin uni and then going uni strght. means , i get to skip poly! bt i think she's damn crazy. cause its damn EX! omg. i don;t knw. she thinks its fine if i pull outta poly now. cause we haven't started yet! but , im gonna miss out on e fun. so i'll think abt it.

dinner;s gonna be so fun tonight! shan's back from shanghai! so we're meeting up for dinner and abit of drinks. promised the guys tonight's gonna be camwhore night! haha. i made KAZU ystday night. it was success!(borats' tune.) hahaha. dinner was goooddddd.

okay! update again soon! hitting the showers now. gotta meet debbie in half-hour's time for glorious thai food. ((:

losing it all in a second.

2008-03-24T14:28:00.000-07:00

im RED. and soaring at my shoulders. ANYWAYS! im off work! ahha. like period. (: caught stepup ystday down at cathay. and we met his funny friends for abit. chinglaput and ben (i think). they;re so nice!

thurs was e last day. evan cheryl fang yongxiang and siti were so cute! they got me this farewell card on thurs and evan bought a softtoy-ed flower for me. haa. im gonna miss em so so much! aft work was dinner near raffles hotel with euo and family and uncle dan and aunty H. aft that was horton with eshie and euo.

fri was meet up with e youths to prep up for easter sales on sunday. aft that was satay party at hp again.

sat saw bro gab and i waking up damn early at 5plus to get our bums dwn to sentosa by 8ish. sun was scorrrrccchiinnnnggg! gosh. and i applied like loads of sunblock to prevent the alr dark skin from darkening further. but , my shoulders are red , and i still got tanner! was superr shagged! left tanjong beach round 4ish ? and cabbed out. dinner was at ichiban , home , washed up and slept.

OKAY, I SO WANNA UPLOAD SM OF EM PICS. BT THE BROWSER;S FAILING ME ONCE AGAIN.

smtime later then!

gottarush and head out now! see yall!

HE WORKS.

2008-03-16T21:48:00.000-07:00

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” Life seems to mostly be unclear. We don’t understand what’s going on, and so we don’t know where to go, or what to do. This key verse gives us direction. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. God will give us his clear direction, because he loves us; he is our Father.

it'll be the most difficult task now,

but i;ll trust.

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours

2008-03-14T23:44:00.000-07:00

you grip on tight to the hand gears , hoping you dont fall off.
you hold so tightly , you realise you;re hurting yourself and slowly let go alil.
and you fall off.

-----
i loose sight of small things in life when its going good.
one day i sit down , i see all these and am suddenly lost.
reality hits me and i suddenly realize im missing out and taking a lot for granted.
confusion hits.

------
this week's highlight was shopping and leap years with fiq. movie with ben&jerrys on hand.

i need to reorg the life right now.

2008-03-12T21:57:00.000-07:00

time.
he grew old with my eyes shut.

------

im missing shannon in shanghai! he's changed so much. and i can;t wait to meet up. cause we were just catching up online.

im quitting next week! like finally! omg! haha. i'll have the rest of my days planned out before i start school! hahah.

and im still praying hard for the waiting list. im trusting!

debbie's 19th was a BLAST! hahah. and the meet up with the girls was so good cause we did so much catching up!

i shall think if i shld do smthing with this blog.

gotta go yallll. niggghttt!

2008-02-18T05:06:00.000-08:00

weekend was busssyyy! vday this year was bitter sweet!ha. cause i ended up with a really bad headache the next day. and i had to run around office asking if anyone had panadol to spare. marchelle was so niceeee! she did the same with me. lunch was at clarity;s, treat was on me for her bd. haha. and we ended up being half hour late! felt soo shitty. bought a cake for yongxiang. haha. night was dinner function at orchid country club , then to vivien's place for the gathering and then to jy's place where we met tianze which was damn funny. and then both bing and siekmee came over to my place where i got my stuff and then left house again. cabbed down to bing's place and stayed over.. catching up! hahaha. slept like near 4 i think ? and , ifixed the ipod! (: anyways , when i woke up on sat , i lunched at her place and rushed home to washup , get changed and met the girls down to bukit batok for m.kok's house visit! hahaha. was damn funny , the way they played wii.

aft his place , we headed down town, where afiq decided to tell me he had his insurance meeting. walked round till like 5 ? 6 ? and he called! saying that it was cancelled. so we met . hung round marina square then walked round and round the area outside and decided raffles city shping centre. then bought dinner and sat near smu. half way thru , fireworks were blasting right behind us! hahahahaha. we caught the aft chingay party abit and then cabbed to ps for starbucks! hahah. and aft that , we were both toooo bummed out , we decided to head back. that was near 12.

sunday morn was service and then lunch at ichiban boishi with joa claris and sis. then to get ipod accessories and met euo and esh. zouk flea next! it was dammnnnnn crowded! OMG! i was so turned off by e crowd , i decided to head to winebar for drinks. riebena vodka! yum! haha. aft that we walked more. met henry , bing and friend in there! haha. left and headed to tcc;s for chilli beef! BUT THEY RAN OUTTA IT! gosh.

cabbed down to cine and was back up at ishop. (omg. i don;t knw hw many times iv'e been there. i like knw the ppl working there now!) aft tht was kite runnerrrr! which was so GOOD!! the best show i've watched thru the whole series of movies i've watched recently. dinner was subway and then we headed home.

and now , monday's back to worrrrrrrrkkkk. but its okay though.. cause evan's been supporting the lazy bum that's in me. telling me to just sleep and rest. hahaha. and he's a good mate to sit beside with ! cause he makes me happy when stupid traders pisses me off so badly. i almost pinched him red when i found out my whole excel shit was erased. ): he was nice though. he sucked it in and smiled! hahaha.

life's not perrrrffeeectttt. bt im contented now.
because its all so effortless now. (:

It is so easy to see
Dysfunction between you and me
We must free up these tired souls
Before the sadness kills us both

I tried and tried to let you know
I love you but I'm letting go
It may not last but I don't know
Just don't know

If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

A bed that's warm with memories
Can heal us temporarily
The misbehaving only makes
The ditch between us so damn deep

Built a wall around my heart
I’ll never let it fall apart
But strangely I wish secretly
It would fall down while I'm asleep

If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you, babe

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

Tough we have not hit the ground
It doesn't mean we're not still falling,
Oh I want so bad to pick you up
But you're still too reluctant to accept my help
What a shame, I hope you find somewhere to place the blame
But until then the fact remains


It hurts but it may be the only way

atleast , i made my point.

2008-02-14T13:00:00.000-08:00

HELLO! ogosshhhh. haven't been blogging for a longgg time. ANYWAYS! i feel damn happy! because through the pass week , i've been shopping a lot. and i blew 75bucks on a top from zara just like that. it was probably due to joa and claris being there! haha. we were at wheelok's Masimo Dutti too! and the money was spent the most there. stayed over with em the night and had prac the next morn. aft svc was lunch at liangseah st.! joshua drove like mad. and i was sitting infront and it was very traumatizing! haha. aft that he drove dwntwn and i was deciding btwn elizabeth arden's provocative or nina! i got provocative. which im SO REGRETTING NOW! UG! i wanna sell it off. we caught ps i love you aft that! which was QUITE what i expected.

ystday , my cousins from hongkong got back. so we brought them to newton for dinner. but dinner was at 9. and i had SO MUCH time to kill aft work. so i took the train , alighted at the next stp and shopped. i ended up with 2 tops and a dress from topshop and a pair of shoes. eason was damn funny through the whole dinner.

evan's going in for an op tomorrow morn! that guy has a prob everywhere man i tell you. his eye, leg,nose. omg. hahaha. and im going to miss him on fri! ugh. ... i didn't make it for work today! (: and RX's getting cuter daily. ohnoooooo.! ystday we did the lo hei thing. and i tell u! it was damn funny. we had abalone in ours and slamon and chicken. infact we had more meat and everything other then chicken. which was SO weird! crazy love mates.

okay! happy vday all! ((((((: i've retired from putting so much trouble in vday for big bunch of people. now's just me and the few i love! ha.

okay! im damnlate now. i need to rush dwn twn now!

enjoy valentine's loves!

2008-01-23T15:35:00.000-08:00

sometimes , you don;t say , but its just naturally made knwn.

i finally am back! ha.
work's been good. the company especially and the lunch meet ups with trixie john and well,even eugene. HAHA. results are coming out tomorrow! seriously cannot take the fact that time's passing SOOOOO quickly! and how gab's turned 20! hah. yes. and her surprise party was a blast. she was tricked soo badly.

its the hp bazaar like AGAIN! and apparently we're really short handed this yr. so hey! if any of u guys are really free or are just so sweet , come down and try and give us a hand yah! and euo even made a facebook grp a few weeks back. haha. yeah. i was there ystday night and poor jeff and weizhe looked like they were walking zoms!

and the only reason why im blogging right now's cause i skipped work today! might be meeting trixie for dinner later. and probably stay over at gab's tonight. will see how.

edd's back from bangkok! HAHA. (:

and i missed my last 2 eps of golden path! i heard it ended bad though!
i have the mobtv acc now! i can try and log in and watch soon.

In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun...
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed... you said...

You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
She said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,

Essential yet appealed, carry all your thoughts across
An open field,
When flowers gaze at you... they're not the only ones who cry
When they see you
You said...

You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
She said
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,

She said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly em out to Spain...
I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice... oh yeah,

You don't know me, you don't even care...

Boston... where no one knows my name... yeah
Where no one knows my name...
Where no one knows my name...
Yeah Boston...
Where no one knows my name.

2008-01-02T03:39:00.000-08:00

i made it a point to make sure i get my room packed by today. so i spent practically the whole of my new years' in a shithole.HA. bt its the best pack i've done so far. so im super glad. and i also made it a point to try and turn in early tonight. i went to bed at freaking 1.30AM! which is superrrrrr early compared to the past few 5AM turn in times. its 3.30am and i cant sleep for nuts. i gave up shifting on bed and decided to do useful things(in hope that i do get tired and fall aslp soon) . im starting work tomorrow! pay's shitty though! ugh.

its 2008!

oh. and new yr's eve was crapppyyyy. the plan to head dwn to clarke quay to party was somehow changed. and the two boys that were suppose to party along with us changed thier minds and decided to head dwn to MARINA. plus i was damnnn sick that day and i had a terrible stomach. so i was thinking twice. so in the end. it was kel's friend's party which i enjoyed cause the guys were bent on making my stomach hurt even more by making me laugh like a whole load! but i ended up leaving aft countdown cause my tummy turned against me 10mins before 2008. so kel forced and insisted that i go home and rest. he drove me back and i was home at 2am in the morning of new year's with phonecalls and texts telling me how wonderful all the parties were.....ugh! one big resolution this yr ? PARTY LIKE SIAO for countdwn 2009!

okay. im tired now!

i think.

2007-12-31T04:20:00.000-08:00

31stofdecember.

its always the day where the whole world more or less reflects on the past year. i've so much to thank god for! this has been well , the most god-relying year through my 17years. really. i mean , the major exams and the different situations that's happened has really caused me to rely on him more. pst lawrence was really strght today. it cracked and made me think. im quite ashamed of myself actually. im quite sick of the fact that i only turn to you when i need you. but i push you aside or well , just happen to forget and leave you at an untouched corner inside me when life's going good. its embarrassing. its like no one knws , but i knw. and that itself makes me want to dig a deeeeeppp hole , hide inside and cover it up. and well , wanting to dig as far down as i can to try and hide myself and not allow you to find me or to knw me. but yet , you know and you forgive.

i have so much to thank you for. for restoring a few friendships i thght was long gone , for blessing another yr , for carrying me through the whole study/exam period this year, for the push , for the spiritual encouragement i get from friends , for the constant reminders and for everything.

im praying and hoping year 2008 be smthing new! i neeeeed smthing new. like REALLY!
and gosh... im starting work on wed. i hope its good. pay's crappy though!

i wanna river island!haha.

terence and i were on the net just now. it was supeeerrr good having caught up with him. that boy;s working at del mar AGAIN. and ohmygosh. he's going to party while he works tomorrow! ha.

--------------
there comes a point in life when you realize who matters , who never did , who won't anymore and who always will.so i figure i shldn't worry about the past, i guess there's a reason why it didn;t make it to my future.

2007-12-29T19:04:00.000-08:00

hello! i slpt at 9am this morning and got up at 5.30pm in the evening. my timings are realllyyyy screwed. hhaha. ystday night gabs and i caught i am legend. i thght the movie was good! okay. aft the movie at cathay , we walked abit. somehow , within the short nr2busride back , we managed to make plans for the whole night. so i went home first, got my stuff and alcohol and met debbie. the journey to meet her was the worst!! omg. kay. anyways. we met gabs michelle and deborah at cwp and stayed at civics through the night. ended up drinking a tad toooo much! haha. but the night was damn fun! especially to see how funny those that were gone we talking. debbie and i were at the inter-change at 5.40am and the bus took dammmmnnn long to come. we almost fell aslp on the marbled seats!

im hoping i finish packing the awful mess in my room soon.im starting work wed! so i want it done by then. been procrastinating too damn much! but then again , i promised mum i'd do it by the end of 07'. so it SHLD be done by the 2nd. ha. okay! this shall be done for e rest of the evening. omg! PARRRTTAAAYY ON MONDAY! i can't wait. funfunfun again!

2007-12-29T01:06:00.000-08:00

this is to cover up for the many many many many(x100s) posts without pictures!

HONGKONG

SHENZHEN

CHRISTMAS

loves! (:

2007-12-26T04:38:00.000-08:00

merry christmas!

been too busy with preps for the eve prog man. anyways! its over! and though the prog wasn't jam-packed wonderful due to a few hiccups we had , we still had loadsa fun! okay. and this yr's x'mas eve , i won first prize in a talent time which i had no intention of joining. hahah. my lovely bunch of nosy cheerers were wonderful.HA. alex was e loudest! anyways. i loved the whole evening! aft prog joa asked if i wanted to hang out at gardens. and i was like nope! can't! gotta meet e boys in town! and yeah. i got myself in town. on x'mas eve. the crowd was one. the other was just. i ended up going home the earliest this x'mas eve.

today, was full of things. mainly the preps for dinner at my place! hahaha. roasted eel,pan-seared salmon with cream sauce,butter-herb broco,baked baby potatoes under mozzarella and bacon,smoked salmon and for dessert , buttercake with icecream and chocolate dust. hahaha. dinner was success except for the fact that the smoked slamon tasted awful with pretty awful tasting herbs.(i didn't make that!ha.) present opening aft dinner with fun! haha. and mocha had her present too!

aft dinner , met up with gabs to pass her the gift and chilled abit. headed home aft that.

im watching ISWAK 2 NOW! im so hooked on to it now! i can't stand that the eps are coming out SO SLOWWWWLLLLYYYY!! . ugh. and its freaking 4.30am now! gosh.

im still treating it as christmas though. 12 days ! ((: HA.
i knw , u knw and we all knw that today's the bestest day that can ever happen. bt we get too carried away sometimes and leave the birthday boy out of his own party. and forget that we're actually partying cause of him. i have not though! have you ?

merry christmas lovelies!

2007-12-22T23:55:00.000-08:00

the past week's been well , busy? i cant term it that way i guess. a lot of time's been spent in town and bugis side. like 4 outta the 5weekdays were spent round arab st , haji lane and beach road! haha. the travelling is damn shitty! most of the days were with joa to concourse to get deco for mon! then on tues , we went to her fav prwn mee stall.which had to close only on tues! so we had kenny rogers instead.and on fri we went back there again! and got our cravings eased (since we were in hk okay!)! HAHAHA.

aft dinner with joa one of the days , i decided to go walk around. the initial plan of having ralph meet me up aft work was cancelled cause i smhow decided that it wldn't be too nice to drag him into every store and to torment him and make him wait for me to finish like hw we did to esh in hk. plus that poor guy was working through the day! so instead i went for the intended x'mas shopping but ended up with more from the mango sales and diva! ofcourse i did my x'mas shopping!(which was frankly like only 30%!)

okay. and st.james on the sat night was awesome! we got a jug of longisland and F got a shot. i drank a whole load of alcohol down. and then , the five of us shot to the dance floor. and funny things happened. it was an eye-opener seeing the two boys dance. we left the club early and headed for supper! then we had a funny-cab-journey back! omg. nv underestimate the power of a cab driver okay!

-----------

chris asked if i could do an item for x'mas eve. so i said yes. and now , on x'mas eve , im gonna be singing solo on stage. ooooohhhhhnooooooo. i really hope i don't screw up! rehearsals tomorrow again! and then the putting up of deco at night again! like probably till lateeee. mon's x;mas eve! then meet up with e boys! and then its x'mas day! dinner at my place this yr! hahaha. i managed to wrap up all e presents today!

and then another christmas dinner on the 26th. and probably , im hoping , the jb trip on the 27th.(hopefully more shopping) and then on the 28th , there might be a concert for me to attend and on the 29th , probably like out! , 30th is packing day and the 31st's like WAOH! hahahaha. dinner with group! i think. i more or less have the remaining days of my year planned out! haha. and then it'll be 2008! i seriously can't wait for the results to come out. then i can start using my brain again. gosh. i really feel damn brain dead larh okay!

haha. okay. i needa head to the showers and then to bed now. early day tomorrow!

oh. i bought water baby's. HAHA.
right.damn random.

NIGGGGHHHTTT SEXXAAYY! ha.

2007-12-15T16:04:00.000-08:00

ystday , i gave the concert a miss. cause i thought all e people i wanted to hang out with were not gonna make it. crappy. instead , i met up with the 2 boys and had good subway for dinner! ha. then it was a wasted trip to art friends - they were closed by the time i got there. and i somehow had a partial lost of tracks when i was trying to meet up with the guys again. now , im missing hongkong shopping even more. aft seeing the topshops and the warehouse.s . AH. retail will be done in hongkong man. its dirt cheap larh! compared to sg. ugh. okay. fine. i shan't be what edd terms as "niao" . HAHA.

we met up with gh aft he was done with his shift and made our way to ps's macs to just chill out. we missed our last train. so i brought them boys down to clark quey via e shortcut. ha. we took loads of random shots and cam whored! ahaha. yeah. we headed back home at like 2 plus! and reached back home at 3. i can now say that my estate is totally not a safe place. period. the scary case of outrage of modesty. edd was nice. because of the soya bean. he left me at my lift. hahaa. aft that i was on e phone till like 5am! i cldn't stand it anylonger so i knocked out immediately aft e phonecall.

st.james tonight! with kimlai,ronald,his friend and gabs!
i guess sarah's gonna win! ha. ((:
joa's heading there with friends too!
i hope we aren't late arh.

I can't believe it's over
I watched the whole thing fall
And I never saw the writing that was on the wall
If I only knew
Days were slipping past
That the good things never last
That you were crying

Summer turned to winter
And the snow it turned to rain
And the rain turned into tears upon your face
I hardly recognized the girl you are today
And god I hope it's not too late
It's not too late
'Cause you are not alone
I'm always there with you
And we'll get lost together
Till the light comes pouring through
'Cause when you feel like you're done
And the darkness has won
Babe, you're not lost
When your world's crashing down
And you can't bear the thought
I said, babe, you're not lost

Life can show no mercy
It can tear your soul apart
It can make you feel like you've gone crazy
But you're not
Though things have seemed to changed
There's one thing that's still the same
In my heart you have remained
And we can fly fly fly away

'Cause you are not alone
And I am there with you
And we'll get lost together
Till the light comes pouring through
'Cause when you feel like you're done
And the darkness has won
Babe, you're not lost
When the world's crashing down
And you cannot bear to crawl
I said, baby, you're not lost

gone!

2007-12-14T14:59:00.000-08:00

HELLO!

hongkong was.
(indescribable)

HAHA.

it was too good. all i did was eat , drink , shop , sleep and have fun! for 10days ? hahaha.
the food was good. and we were spoiled larh. seriously . cause the people there are like damn nice! and aunty cn and unlce phillip's friends were just too nice. we ended up being so full we couldn;t walk proper. haha. the street food was good! and we had loadsa krispy kremes! i brought back from hongkong also! we also had to chance to shop at hnm which was unexpectedly cheeeeeaaappp! okay. i basically roamed almost the whole of both kowloon side and hongkong side. and was in shenzhen for 3 days! i blew a lot of cash on shopping! hahah. 5 tops 3 shorts 3 bags , a hnm wallet , a wallet for edd , an anna sui pouch , an lv coin purse , a pair of havi , a set of boxers and perfume from chavingnon (this damn up market brand in hk. i hope i spelt it correctly!) hahaha. a lot of accessories from hnm , elizabeth arden's fifth ave for mum! okayy.... like super a lot of more things! okay. i shldn't do this.

yahh. and the grp of us had little to do at night. cause apparently , the clubs closed down in hongkong! haha. and the funniest thing that happened ? when we tried asking lucien if he had any idea where hk's nightlife was , he directed us to this hotel where we could sit and eat dumplings and drink tea. OMG! we blasted in laughter larh. hahaha. and brother couldn't help bt revisit that moment that he said it everytime we were thinking of where to go at night.

good thing was , we had a lovely row of pubs and bars across our st. tsim sha tsui! so the first night was just pure drinking. we were planning to shisha aft that. bt decided not to and left it to the next night.

trip was good. except the few times where i had a terrible issue with the rest over the chinaman , david. (: HAHA.

okay. ystday night , we were at hp for a wake service. then we decided to head to gardens' happy daze for drinks! and my first proper attempt at pool. which i can say didn;t suck that badly for me. i managed to knock 4shots in okay! hahahaha.

tonight's going to be back at rs! and afiq is entering ns tomorrow! OMG!. so exciting larh! hahaha

okay! im deciding if i shld head to gym. cause its pouring damn heavily! ARH!.

st.james tomorrw!

okay. gt to go!
BYE!

2007-12-02T23:59:00.000-08:00

im so glad that my last week was productive!
i did abit of shopping on sat noon. hahah.
gym was daily.
aunt CN's version of farewell was a SATAY PARTY!hahaha.okay.
and the fav friend decided to catch enchanted with me just now. HA. i love love the songs okay! i have all thier songs in my com nw. i just finished packing and clearing my cam's memory card for the next week plus!

i have to be up in 2hours! i've gotta be at e airport at like 5.30 am! gosh.

omg. i hope nthing screws up through the week! ha.

take care ya'll! (:
lovelovelove.

2007-11-27T22:03:00.000-08:00

CRAP. the throat's bad now. due to the beef steaks and garlic prawns and over-fried crisps on sunday night! arrrh. cheesecake was well a success! if i had baked it longer , it'd been BETTER! tonight's sauce was a success too!

its been gym these days.
movie in town on fri.
prolly a meet up with e guys on sat- tentative.
honkong on mon.
work starts LARRRHH.
rs's concert.
x'mas plannings!

omg. i can't wait for 2008 to come MANNNNNNNN. omg.
0808080808!

hahaha. dec's gonna be the month of parties baby!

gotta run!
BYE.

BAKING TURNS ME ON.

2007-11-24T20:52:00.000-08:00

today was a good day.

i managed to finish packing my mess on the table aft 4wholeweeks!
B came by today and we had dinner tgther!
and we headed to my red man! and i spent close to 35bucks just on the ingredients.
got home and baked till 12am! hahaha. the cheese was love man! and im pretty glad the cake turned out good!

my virgin attempt at new york styled chessecake was a blast! ha. i love the whole process. except the clearing up aft that. arrrrg.

anyways! i think my job's set! so , im prolly going to start right aft i get back from hongkong. okay. the food there's ULTRA SHIOOKK. so i must put my gym membership to good use! HAHA. we;ll see. really. i mean , really. and we;ll be staying at the kimberly hotel! ((:

churchy tmrw! then christmas eve committee meeting! lunching at hp.

im passing my dearest chem,phy,CHI and geog notes to the boys at hp!

i hope my next week won't be wasted watching dramas and full eps of greys anatomy , the office and desperate housewives! and i pray i do smthing productive! besides going out to shop. because im really broke to my butt ! ha. maybe i;ll get dwn to planning to long awaited kayaking expedition for the youth! i;ll see how!

ppl like who , who have practically shiat to do at home shld read low kay hwa's "i believe you" . its damn short! and its abit teary. the language wasn't what i really expected though. was interestingly interesting! HA.

rights. as u can see. the individual typing right now doesnt seem quite sane. so , gotta go loves! night!

its 2am.

prom pictures..

2007-11-23T12:52:00.000-08:00

----------------------

----------------

2007-11-21T19:43:00.000-08:00

hello! (:

okay! prom was awesome! food was good! night was great! company was love! haha. shall post pics another time though. aft prom , i hung out with the boys instead of the other grp tt went for ktv. met em at shaw towers. we spent the night talking abt a lot of stuff ! which was good , cause i haven't exactly seen em for sometime. zainal's SACRIFICIAL PROTECTION saved my feet! yeah. and so , im ultra grateful for tt boy in offering to let me wear his lacoste shoes leaving him with only his socks. i looked terrible though! like a hip-hop-gone-wrng person! ha. initial plan was to catch the first train back home , BUT! edd asked and wanted to cab back, and so we did! the sleep in the cab was glorious! (: got home and turned in at 7am!

got up at 4pm the same day , and wasted the rest of it.

today was to collect my stuff from reg's aunt's place and then to the library.GOSH! i miss that place. and i saw familiar faces there! on the second level that is. hahaha. i sound like a hard core mugger right now. i knw. fine. dinner aft that and , im meeting the boys to catch stardust at 9-ish! hahahaha. i can't wait. ;ve heard a lot of good views on it! so ... YAY! (:

okay! i wanna go read the book by low kay hwa now! (: see ya;ll loves!

abit too early , but still!

2007-11-15T01:57:00.000-08:00

one of my potential songs going to be used when , i wed. HAHA. its so sweet okay.

Thank you for this moment
I've gotta say how beautiful you are
Of all the hopes and dreams I could've prayed for
There you are
If I could have one dance forever
I would take you by the hand
Tonight it's you and I together
I'm so glad, I'm your man

And if I lived a thousand years
You know, I never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you
That day.
But if destiny decided
I should look the other way
Then the world would never know
The greatest story ever told
And did I tell you that I love you tonight?

I don't hear the music
When I'm looking in your eyes
But I feel the rhythm of your body
Close to mine.
Its the way we touch that sends me
Its a way we'll always be
Your kiss, your pretty smile you know I'd die for
Oh baby, you're all I need.

And if I lived a thousand years
You know, I never could explain
The way I lost my heart to you
That day.
But if destiny decided
I should look the other way
Then the world would never know
The greatest story ever told
And did I tell you that I love you,
Just how much I really need you
Did I tell you that I love you tonight?



(:

“our friendships strng and nthing ain’t strng enough to break it.”

2007-11-15T01:53:00.000-08:00

i was arranging my desktop today. and scooping out all the rubbish that;s been taking up a whole load of space in my drives. but admist the LOAD of (literally) rubbish , there were nice memories. the doc i saved like 3 years ago while i was talking to gab about how crappily i was feeling. and then , a typed out birthday letter for an old guy friend which was ultra sweet and how i rmbered giving him junk food from so many different countries!he once said , “our friendships strng and nthing ain’t strng enough to break it.” . where do we stand now ? haha. time. a year a go.

been out like ... DAILY! haha. sleeping at terrible odd hours like 4am , 5am everyday! and waking up early to head out. OH NO! very bad habit. ha. vivo tomorrow!

im getting damn lazy to blog! lets see if it changes soon! hah.

okay! i need to head to bed now! im feeling terribly bumed out!

night loves!

2007-11-10T16:38:00.000-08:00

okay! lunch at previn's was AWESOME! ahhaha. the food was good! yes. and then there was abs raspberry. which i drank a tad tooooo much! cause apparently P' thought i could hold it better then the rest. so i really drank. and i ended up not being to walk strght. oscar went like totally red! and ralph , HAHAHAHAH. shall not talk abt it.

yep! so aft lunch and all.. gh , ralph and i headed down town to get the stuff i wanted to get. still feeling damn shagged aft all the alcohol. gh didn't drink though.so only ralph and i were like DAMN shagged! ha. yep! i was suppose to get to suntec to meet maurice to shop for his stuff. but , yeah , like i said, damn shagged. so i ended up going back with the two boys.

YSTDAY , was suppose to be spent going dwn to chinatwn for the interview brother arranged. but i was damn lazy! and frankly , aft much consideration, wasn't really interested in the job. so i gave it a miss. and i pissed brother off so badly , i felt like shiat! okay. and because i turned gabs dwn before that , i ended up not having any plans for the lovely fri night. i thght itd end really unproductively , but NOOO! i packed the shithole! aka the room. and only finished at 1am! i felt very accomplished ystday night! ha.

okay! i wanted to head dwn twn today to check out the stuff at fareast. but , i woke up at 12 went for lunch and mum influenced me to make dinner tonight. so , staying home! gabs coming over tonight for dinner and girl talk though! can't wait! and dinner tonight will be pan-seared slamon fillet with herbs and olive oil , baby tomatoes, salad and fried mushrooms! i hope dinner turns out good though! don;t wanna disappointed gab! ((:

hahah. okay! i wanna go catch lake house again now! take care hons!

2007-11-08T12:58:00.000-08:00

we were planning to head dwn to zouk for mambo night. but we ended up at mos! yeap. and one was ultimately drunk, well really drunk. haha. it was fun though! but it was a pity shit happened and i couldn't further continue fun there! ha. and so i was on NR , resigning to theory of the "11months earlier." and then ben called! haha. that saviour! (: he asked me to join them and i was like.... OKAY! ha. so i dropped off opp scotts at park royal. and we hung out!B's friend josh drove us all to bukit timah for like supper! ha. and we just chilled till like 3plusam! josh sent me home aft that and i reached home at 4plusam.

so much for the eventful night. im nw feeling dead tired! ha. have to leave house in 10! to meet up with e guys for lunch at P's place!

okay! byebye world!

LIBERATION BBABEEHH!

2007-11-07T13:37:00.000-08:00

hahaa. yes. yst. i felt DAMNED liberated. and i spent the whole day out! jumping around all places from stchbuilding to all the usuals! i found a dress.. that costs over 200bucks! which is crazy. i don't knw! i lovelovelove ben. ubber smashing partner! hahah.

anyways. meeting the two boys for lunch in a bit.
and probably heading down twn tonight again. family wants to plan a belated-celeb for the 17th! ha. then it might be meet up with gabs! at 11pm! tmrw's lunch at previn's. still contemplating on a saree. HAHA.

i needa pack my place.
i needa sell off the excess clothings and unused shoes! all the AX and motto jeans. ck pants!
i needa fix my laptop.
i need cash!
i needa plan for hongkong.
i need to do a lot of things!
Eastcoast night!

and soon , i needa plan where to head to aft the results are out! but now , im just embracing LIFE! hahahaha.

i thank god for having carried me through it all. really. (:

enjoy dears!
and to those still dragging cause of a's , it'll be over SOON!.

2007-11-02T15:36:00.000-07:00

ISWAK 2's coming out 25th NOV!
omg.
loves!

and i might be working at louis vuitton. okay. its tentative!
and gab's started school!
and im finishing up my last paper next tues!
bro's ORD-ing today. haha. im skipping his ceremony. cause apparently , i needa study!
HAH. okay. i am going to lar.

i just took a really SHORT break okay.
and caught iswak season one eps on youtube. (:

i just gave away the red-polka dotted heels to sister's friend.
the one GER wanted! too late hon!

okay!
off now!

2007-10-22T20:51:00.000-07:00

its here! finally.

and so , i figure till this point , i've really put in a lot. so im really trusting god on this one. (:

on a totally different note , haha.and i knw i shldn't be here. still. im taking a BREAK from the books so. yeah.

i figure its time. to stop making life work the way i want it to. if he chooses to hang out with them people. then , he;ll hang out with them people. if he chooses to be the person he is now , then he'll be the person he is now.

i dont want to see you the way i want to see you.
i want to see through you and look at you the way you really are.
i don;t want to make myself think that im loving someone fake.

im good! i just somehow needed to state those few obscure sentences above.
im going to miss out on so many things this weekend! gwen's wedding at clark quey and hiding place's anniversary! mannnn. i felt like SHIT having to tell keith that i won;t be doing back up this yr. i really want to! but , i feel like im going against what i knw i shld be doing. so i turned it dwn. im going to miss out in seeing all the "long time no see" peeps from hp. and wz's back from perth! and we haven't talked! i hope we do soon! haha. and! jan's coming up! the bazaar's coming up! so ..HURHURH! okay.fine. i have to finish up with o's first.

aft os! its

HONGKONG! (:
memberships.
bangkok!!!!
sailing.
shopping!

okay. listing it all down's gonna take the whole night!

so , back to the point where i was talking about going against what i kwn i shld be doing ..

i knw i shld be going off now.
so ..
ciao ya'll loves!

i'll be back!

AN INDIGNANT DENIAL.

2007-10-15T23:24:00.000-07:00

omg. like screw the test papers i've been doing! its feels like crap when i've done it all and i realise that i don't have the answers printed. seriously. ugh. im purely in a capital-ed "P-I-S-S-E-D" mood. at the damn papers and well , myself and everything. this feeling's been perpetually running inside me since... well. it has been. i don't knw what to do anymore. why now man. why now.

frankly , i can;t exactly find smone to push the blame to for how im feeling right now. its all me.

i've been filled with abit too much of hope that im going to do well. and maybe it seems now placing myself in this position isn't the best idea.

screw yourself
to think you'd give in to the slack now
when things are most tight at.

---------------------

the sense of damn guilt ,
bt not being able to do anything./knwing bt nt doing.
the heavy-heart.
the self-guilt-tears.

im too pissed.
at myself.

2007-10-13T10:13:00.000-07:00

Let go , Let God.

2007-10-11T22:15:00.000-07:00

14days left.

trust in the Lord with all your heart ,
and lean not on your own understanding
but in all ways acknowledge Him ,
and He shall make your paths straight.
-Proverbs 3:5-6.

-----

You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with Your hand
And lead me in Your righteousness

And I look to You
And I wait on You

I'll sing to You Lord
A hymn of Love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go
Through it all

You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with Your hand
And lead me in Your righteousness

And I look to You
And I wait on You

I'll sing to You Lord
A hymn of Love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go

-----------

happy birthday:
marj darling,
shayfern!in aussie ,
nicholas(in aussie) ,
audrey ,
jasmine(in Oakland CA) ,
uncle edmund and
uncle hk !

i love oct. there's SO many of us having birthdays! hahaha.

nights!

2007-10-10T22:55:00.000-07:00

hello peeeeople.
im seventeen. still a year from legality! hahah.anyways, thank you all who bothered to drp wishes! it was really sweet of ya'll! i can;t really go by a list and thank ya'll one by one , cause it'll be too long. but , thank you guys!oh. and jolyn for calling from aussie to wish! - (if u ever read this.) hah.

i spent my 17th' studying my butt off. which i must say was really unproductive! ug. i pushed dinner plans to aft o's thinking i cld focus on the books. but i was damn wrng. and edd only made my productivity dip lower! ohwells. haha.

15days to o's loves!

and i just caught music and lyrics. i knw im really late. haha. it was good! and hugh grant is just damn sexy LARH!. okay. fine. hahahah.

i really shldn't be on the net now man. really.

guilts' kicking me !

okay. and i just had a rough talk with lloyd on subcombi's.im quite lost now! haha.

abit of lyrics that applies now.
night loves!



I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past
I just can't seem to move on
I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again someday
I've been setting aside time to clear a little space in the corners of my mind

2007-10-08T01:06:00.000-07:00

okay. i currently am really quite fresh. haha. just got outta the showers! and yes. its freaking 1 am now! haha. anyways. i really glad i was reminded of quite a lot of things today. that really , He works. always working. the faith.. really. thats all. today's church bulletin consisted of the most no. of birthday joys! haha. 15 in total! haha. yeah. and 5 on the 9th. okays. so uncle bob prayed for me infront of the congre and well , just as i've been really contemplating on leaving smtime when the time's right , to expand the horizons and give myself a chance to experience smthing new , uncle bob prayed tt i'd continue to serve at where i was. it kinda made me think a lot as i kept my eyes shut. see , He speaks , slowly , but surely.

haha. im quite bummed out by studies now. i feel crappily lifeless! still , marj , being AWESOMELY SWEET (: net chatted this to me.

- Standing on the steps with my heart in my hand says:
trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways, acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight!

thank you darling. it really works. i mean , as much as im feeling the darn drain right now , i knw everything will be alrights!

-------------

i have a few books to grab and just really spend time to read aft the papers which end in , well , 29days baby! ha.

sis got this book from a friend few months back. the time traveler's wife by Audrey Niffenegger. i heard its really good! so , i'll search for it in 29days! hah.

i can't wait for hongkong. well. i don't knw. ARR. okay. im seriously nt in a state to talk abt HK now. haha. books first..

just now , on the phone ,

me: MY BOOKS! MY BOOKS!,MY BOOKS!,MY BOOKS!.
-then there was this lonnnggggg pause-
HAHA. okay. say it reallllllyyyy fast and you'll knw why! ha.
i was like SHITZZXXZ and i started laughing my ass off. edd and i amazingly thght of the same thing.

okay. i neeeeeeddaaaa head to bed in 5! i need slp. im quite in lack of it now. and i have lessons tmrw! back to sch again... urrrrg. (:!

and crap. its 1.10am. and the people in my block's still freaking playing MAHJONG! its really loud okay. the tiles. UGH.

okay!
night darlings!
mybooks!mybooks,myboobs,mybooks!

2007-10-06T11:27:00.000-07:00

okay. blame the other day on the load of studying in me. im good now.

anyways! en' sent me a text on today's butter fac bazaar. and i sent it out to tons of people to help him do a bit of advert. and the only two people i knw are heading to butter fact later are maurice and christian! hahah. okay. its DAMN weird okay. cause they're the 2 i least expect to see going. ohwells.

in exactly one month's time , i;ll be liberated! i cannot , CANNOT wait i tell you.

man.

i have so much plans on hand! and i can't wait to execute em! hohoho! - fine. i sound like a freaking claus.

okay! to all , keep up the hardcore studyin aye!? (:
and take care!

i love you.a lot. too much sometimes.

2007-10-04T22:25:00.000-07:00

the joy of giving and not asking for anything in return.

you get a gift , nicely wrapped up and with a pretty ribbon tied. then , u slowly unwrap it and realize that beneath the pretty wrapped and ribbon-tied gift ,lies an empty box.

picture the feeling ?

im feeling that now.

2007-10-02T10:40:00.000-07:00

hello world.
life;s been good.

oh.yeah. yst gabs dropped by to pass me a boxed gift for encouragement!. i was quite shocked haha. cause she didn't tell me she was coming down.and so , it was really sweet of her. (: ha. thank you hon! also , thank you to the rest that's been constantly telling me not to give up and to persevere! haha. cause its like only 3 weeks left! thank you darlings.

and i swear, well promise , i'd make time for each of you aft the majors!

i love ya;ll
i love god
i love mum and dad's new car. (HAH)
i love the fact that im still aiming and not falling flat at this pt of time.

oh. and yst was catch up with afiq! hahahhah. it was really crappy and all to have him sat beside me and talk away. all e best you for A;s! (:

okay. i skipped eng. cause i woke up freaking late!
i gota go make up for the loss time now.
bye sweets!

2007-09-29T23:33:00.000-07:00

graduated.

the simplicity of everything , but yet still so filled with emotions. its funny how some things can be felt even without saying a word. i can't say life i rs;s rocked my butt off. but neither can i say it sucked to the extent that i feel no emotions. i guess there's the proportion. the good covering up for the bad. yeah. and it was a bitter-sweet feeling yst. the teachers and the really close mates. the exchange of grad gifts/cards. awesome. esp ralph's letter. HAH. it was really , well , sweet. and viv's pictures and letter , reg's and cel's superly cute framed up pics! yeah. and the stuff from the teachers.

im going to really miss a few dear ones. and the whole "clsrm-experience".

i've loved part of sch life here.
and i can't wait to get on with a new one soon!

loves ya;ll.
night.

see,we're here now. and there's no turning back. unless the road's sign's changed and the direction's altered.

i loved everything that placed a smile yst and today..

to my darls and loved ones.

It has been so long since we have talked
I hope that things are still the same
hoping they will never change
cause what we had can't be replaced
don't let our memories fade away
keep me in your heart for always

You made me believe
that I can do almost anything
stood right by me
through the tears through everything

I'll remember you,
and baby that's forever true
you're the one that I'll always miss
never thought it would feel like this
I'll be there for you, 
no matter what you're goin' through
in my heart you'll always be, forever baby
I'll remember you

I promise you I won't forget the times we shared, the tears we cried
You'll always be the sun in my sky
It may be fate that brings us back to meet again someday
Even though we go seprate ways

You made me believe
that I can do almost anything
You stood right by me
through the tears through everything

I'll remember yooooou,
and baby that's forever true
you're the one that I'll always miss
never thought it would feel like this
I'll be there for yooooou, 
no matter what your goin' through
in my heart you'll always be, forever baby
I'll remember you

If the day should come when you need someone
(you know that i'll follow)
I will be there
Don't ever let there
be a doubt in your mind 
'cause I'll remember you, you

I'll remember you,
and baby that's forever true
you're the one that I'll always miss
never thought it would feel like this
I'll be there for you, 
no matter what your goin' through
in my heart you'll always be, forever baby
I'll remember you

Forever baby, I'll remember you

2007-09-20T17:44:00.000-07:00

sick to my stomach now. and i've been finding it so difficult to sleep these days cause of the really bad headaches and nose and throat! crap!. ha. well. i've got earrings from diva. it was quite long a go since i shopped and was really in town for smthing other then lunch. (sunday's lunch at cine.)!so the collection of balloons for sarah's 19th was an excuse for me to be out in twn on a schoolnight. and they were HUGE! hahahaha. just glad that i worked out well! (: thank you gabs! for hanging out with me! and the catchup was sweet.

i've tried , embarrassed myself for trying cause you don't reci and so, i've fully given up! cause i figure you have.the last thing u'll recieve is probably a graduation gift. nthing more ever.

i don't mind losing the 2 of u right now. cause at the end of the day , i don;t see the truth of us. on grad day , i'd only see myself trying too hard , from how i see it.

I gotta say what's in my mind
Something about us
doesn't seem right these days
life keeps getting in the way
Whenever we try, somehow the plan
is always rearranged
It's so hard to say
But I've gotta do what's best for me
You'll be ok..
I've go to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
We might find our place in this
world someday
But at least for now
I gotta go my own away
Don't wanna leave it all behind
But I get my hopes up
and I watch them fall everytime
Another colour turns to grey
and it's just too hard to watch it all
slowly fade away
I'm leaving today 'cause I've
gotta do what's best for me
you'll be ok..
I've got to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
We might find our place in this
world someday
But at least for now
I gotta go my own away

i love this song right now.
study hard loves!
one week left of school and till grad day!

the shame of not trusting.

2007-09-14T21:39:00.000-07:00

results for prelims broke me terribly at first. plus the events that happened thereafter i got my results partially all made it worst. still , its not the end yet!

so anyways. 2 weeks back , i made orders for THREADLESS-Ts! (: and they theyr'e here! just came in by postage. hah. see. even without being able to shop , i can still do it online! ha.

anyways. right now , i figure there wldnt be a possible way i can make it to a jc with my prelim results! gotta work ! so , no first 6 weeks.

and prom night's going to be at Mhotel!(where we had ren's birthday party at!) yeah.

i figure ive got nthing productive to post here. so i'll just end here. hahaaha. night people!

god's awesomely amazing.

2007-09-09T08:41:00.000-07:00

hello! no more emo-mel! HAHA. right. anyways. weekends , been erm . good?! hah. well ystday was worship and i've learnt that chris's son joshua can understand mandarin really well! ha. so. no more gossips anymore betwn lionel and i now. kelvin chua can now drive! apparently , he got his license on 070707! ha. and that ass didn't tell me. cause his reason was that he felt that i was too busy with my prelims cause i didn't bother to talk to him. so rubbish. yeah. and he's got a car. and its freaking yellow! ha.

today was good worship , great speaker [pstor seow] and new found friend! ALEX. from france. haha. yep. he's in uni now. and his accent is power. omg. u can hardly figure whats coming outta him. well i didd.. well staring into space with my mouth wide open and listening closely to every word that came out. ha. he's a really nice guy. yeah. and then .. HOHOHO! nick came back to sg'! apparently he's gone into full time so , he's travelling worldwide now. he's still as cute as ever. and very sweet. ive got a few link here if ya'll would wanna see em. its amazing how god can work in a situation that seemingly seemed unbearable. we took pictures too! bt its in uncle phil's cam. so i'll try and get em asap. type Nick Vujicic on google. a whole list will come out. but yet he still rmbers us! and yeah. the heart beats fast when he kept asking for a hug! thrice! he calls me the mel the niece. HAH. i thank god for ever having met him though. its just really encouraging! he;s been on ABC and loads of news channels! check him out!
lifewithoutlimbs.
VIDEO.

okay. nuff! anyways. ive learnt tt if it were god's plan to really have us do smthing , we;ll do it no matter what. so i've had enough of worrying.

supper was at changi v! with bro and sarah and parents. (:

okay! sch starts again tmrw. and with strength and perseverence and prayers from all at youth , i'll bear the following few weeks left and just give it my all and go full-proof! [right nw im just crossing my fingers for prelims; results.]

night lovelies! jesus loves you (:

the nicest thing to hear is that he listens to prayers.

well , the mistake's mine.

2007-09-08T16:59:00.000-07:00

" the ability to not say a single word , not be there and care at all , not want to knw what is going on. but yet , still making me want to lean on you and making it seem like for u to be there , everything can be cleared. and aft everything , i still don't figure why. "

These sweat-saoked sheets
They cling to me
To the backs of my knees
I'm wonderin' why
I didnt try to leave
The words you spoke
They made me choke
On the air that I breathe
I'm out of luck, and now I'm stuck here
But you're my mistake
And it's far too late to turn back now
So pull me out
I've fallen down again
You're my mistake
And it's far too late to turn back now
So pull me out
I've fallen down again
I've fallen down again
The void within
Plugged up with sin
Is making me sick
I realized that I despize me
The world shut down
I pushed it out
When i should have run
You stole my youth
But you're not the truth at all
I swear to christ my life
Just give me strength so I can fight this
I've fallen down again

there's tt tinge of acceptance. of wanting to hear and follow what they say about not bearing grudges. but , i've tried. and failed. there's just still too much left in me.

the fascination of realizing that u've grwn from a p1 kid to where we are now.
i need a pack of tasty jacks!

okay. i need to go get ready for prac at H.P.

ruminate in the darkness.

2007-09-07T23:55:00.000-07:00

memories./object of memories.
sometimes. as much as we knw the fact that an object might do harm to our emotions , we still keep it , why? when we hold on to an object of memory , the first thing that hits us is normally the deepest part of whatever object holds. so we naturally have the tendency to feel worst first. when we think of the point of keeping it, we then realise that along with the disappointment and everything that pushes us to feel like our worst , it also is tagged with the better things that once happened and the things that when we think about , we can't help but have the blood in our body rush fast , slowly erasing the worst feelings for a few mins and putting a smile back on our faces. we then decide to not get rid of it , pack it up and keep it safe again like how we always used to. then , the next time you happen to open it up , the worst comes back first.

the vicious cycle.

this also more or less explains why people can oversee the worst of someone. because ultimately,the rest of the person touches you in a way.

-
the holidays i must say have been really fruitful. well , in the sense of blasting fun! but , it equally or doubles the guilt i feel for not having touched my books for a full WEEK!(well more then that) omg. i mean call me a studybuggermugger or what! but ! im feeling the guilt guilt guilt!! bt i don't knw why i can't get down to working my butt off!
[see , mon was the bbq, tues was the lunch/dinner/movie marathon sess at sha;s place till wed , thurs was school in the morn and sleep in the aftnoon , fri was oversleeping and not making it for lessons and swimming laps and funny crappy things that happened.] 5 DAYS GONE!

and the worst crap!? im planning on taking these subs for my A-level combi (IF I DO GET IN!): math, econs , lit and either chem/phy. im really laughing and wondering how im going to ever make it. i knw i hv to study. i just can't get dwn to it aft the prelims!

right. enough rant about my education. i'll work it out.somehow. with all the help in the world. and ofcourse strength from the dearest!
-
for the record , i've got no intentions of letting go of the promise i once made of erasing what we used to have.pls do not listen to how SOME ppl picture it to be. i knw they were kidding though. its for you to knw to not take it in you.

2007-09-03T13:02:00.000-07:00

sugar , we're going down.

sunday was ......

-church
-great speaker
-holland v
-lunch at cozy italian restaurant (AMICI.)
-shopping round holland v
-3 tops and a tennis jacket-WILSON.
-dinner at night at old airport road.
-drinks at katong.
-hendon camp to send bro back.

(:

we passed katong's cheesecake cafe. the one gabs was telling me abt! so need to try it out soon! and im in the mood for strudel !! but... the nearest is like at bukit timah!! . right.

--------------

im darrrrnnn sick now. however , apart from the terrible flu , i loved the whole night of slp! shad had to calllll ..... and then "sweet escape" blasted into thy ears. crap! ha. and im gonna meet him soon! so aft that , either i head back home or i go strght for the evening with the guys'.

this is CADENCE! (: from perth aussie! haha. she's going to be shipped into sg in 2 weeks time! for keith cheow (ahbeng!) HAHA. the doggy's sweet.

i need to study. like really!

SICK!. my mucus's flying everywhere now.

bye loves!

2007-08-31T07:49:00.000-07:00

sometimes. i just wish and wish and wish that i was never made to be where i stand in certain circumstances. really. i wished i had someone to replace this part. tears wasted , terrible anger gushed out .. everything. man! argh. still , i thank god la. it nurtures a sense a responsibility and independence.

i can't wait to get my buttocks outta RS! gosh. okay .. i love the teachers and all. but man!!its just that five years? and ... i realised that i've gone through 3P's through my years! tan , pang and tsung. (however u spell it.) and frankly , i've preferred school life with the first two. theres more life and vibrancy la! still , im graduating like in what ? 3 WEEKS!? arh. time's passing extremely fast larh!

next weeks' sept hol;s! mon;s the bbq at the park with the loved guys! HAH and the few of us girls. (there MIGHT be the stay over) , tues;s the party at SHA's and the stay over. .. stretching to wed. wed evening might be meet up with the bigggggg backsideeeee! ((: thurs and fri's gonna be packed with lessons. sat's cell meeting and outing. sunday's back-up, church. the whole week's JAM-PACKED with activities. how to study like that i ask you ? hur hur. prioritize baby, prioritize.

im just glad i managed to stick by what i said and give my best to forget bout situations. frankly, im darn ass proud of myself. and i really have proven tt i CAN do without people i use to think i'd die not having by my side. we;re graduating baby! and oooooooooooo im bloody excited for the life aft sec school!

okay.shits! this post's so full of graduation. it'd better be a standstill here.

anyways. its pretty nice to catch up with people u weren't so close to. and people ur dearly close to. also , i guess there was pretty much a really nice closure for michael's passing on. i've learnt that we're all just waiting to get dwn to our own time. what matters is what we do when we're waiting. anyways.monday , it was quite power! the way i walked outta hall when everyone was still sitting in. and the walk frm service.H to viewing.H was .. erm. bittersweet. wz! ha. i really. really. really. REALLY . think there's smthing strng going on. ha.

okay lovelyjellybellywelly's... BYE!

2007-08-28T14:32:00.000-07:00

life. in us , we live pre-terminally. we're not terminal yet. we're just soon to be. sunday morn i recieved a text. michael passed at 1am that morn. the sudden shock... it all came so quickly! the past 2 nights of wake services has brought a whole diff on-look of the type of person he was. so full of rubbish and terrible lame jokes. so full of that laughter and his charisma. but yet had that big heart tt wld go all out for smone.its funny how we expected him to be always around. to always hold on to that guitar of his and play with his soul out. thats why , it all happened too fast and my mind couldn;t register everything. till yst night's wake service. the way people talk about you when ur laying in the coffin. i mean ... if i were to pass on. and were to be the one laying in the coffin , im quite sure that the world has smthing to say.. well.. maybe loads. be it good or bad. its really heartwarming to knw that michael was smone that was appreciated so much. but it had to be when he was laying in there that people poured out their appreciation. sometimes.. i hope all the appreciation doesnt come out only when im dead and can't hear ya'll anymore. loved michael. always has. and always will. we knw ur in a better place now.

---------------

on a much much lighter note! last paper for prelim's tomorrow baby! haha. yep! anyways. i wanna head dwn to the COMEX 2007 this year. see what i can try and get. the people going for the hongkong trip's set! omg. i just can't wait to get done with the o's!

finally. the lappy's on-ed! bt apparently i need to reprog the whole system! which is... smthing i don;t knw. man...... i thought i cld set my stuff in the lappy and finish it up by today!

--------------

we need to take time off to let the changes in life register in the brain. if not , one day , when u actually do take time off to look around , you'll realise that almost everything's changed in a blink of an eye.

-----------------

okay! im off now. to catch NO RESERVATIONS.

(:

2007-08-19T23:06:00.000-07:00

hello. im finally back. hahah.
so much's been happening!
this post's probably going to be reallllllyyyyyy longggg.. (: hah.

anyways. im still contemplating if i shld retake chi. aft all , its sucking so badly.. and im thinking if the time spent on chi could be better utilized on other subs. and aft the prelim MT paper today... man! im really considering.haha.

life;s been ubberly SWEET! hah. yes. no shopping , no outings , no dates with the loved ones for a really long time. bt , still sweet. tickets for hongkong's booked! (: hah. 3rd to 12th. i can't wait! plus the company's going to make it extra sweet.

i;ve learnt a lot through the past months. and i can't help but thank god for his love and grace. its amazing. very. the way everything seems to fit in all of a sudden. and the wake up calls he slowly slips into my life. the never ending source of comfort i have in him. i've began to see the importance of having him in my life. the assurance and contentment filled in the heart when u knw he's there. its like how you knw that there's this special one holding your back no matter what. and how you feel like ur always carrying less than half of your burdens cause he's there to carry almost everything else for you. all i've got to do is carry that trust in him.

i've began to tell myself to fully embrace the remaining two months left. whether is it to make up what i've missed in sec school , or to just really study my butt off and not have any regrets ... or to maybe one day end the hostility i have with a few. i figure if i don;t stop and look at what i've right now , i may nv get the chance to. the past five yrs of my life wasn;t exactly wasted. though the many times of regret of not making it into plmgss , i see much more here then i'd imagined i'd see there. the immaturity of boys here! (HAHA!jkin.really.) , the many diff split personalities , the different love i get from different people , the hardcore naggy teachers that nv fail to say smthing really funny , the process .. everything.

i don;t knw. through all the bumps and tears. i just feel really contented with everything right now. and psalms 23 has been reappearing a lot. frm don moen's to pastor lawrence seow , to vivien singing(HAHA. the terrible version ! HEEEHEEE. (: ) and to the word.

this post is really close to the heart! hahaha.

OH MAN. im really glad im more or less done with the project.

ystday , ben passed me his file of notes! that A1 distinction boy! haha. i have NO idea what he is writing man. and its amazing how he's changed. still BAD-BOY shit ass. but... changed. u can really see him and the things that's diff. and how's he's aiming for NYJC! haha. or is it NJC?! . whatever it is , its just good. even i dont aim for NY or NJ. hah.

some of jay chou's music's really addictive!

so far , i';ve skipped and turned dwn a few event functions on the account that i;ve gotta study!

1. ZOUK! ohman. (and i heard jade seah was there.)
2. aranda country club's night.
3. all the shopping and sales i had to turn down.
4. mid-yr hongkong trip.
5. upcoming phuket trip with the few at church for snorkeling.
6. dinners!
7. all the HP dinners and time spent there.

it'll pass! soon! 2 months baby. 2 months.

and and , i;ve got a lot of dkny , ck , mango , topshop jeans and a lot else to get rid off! hahah. i'll sell it off soon. (: watch the space.

im heading to timbre aft o's. ! can't wait.

BYE LOVES! (:

2007-08-06T05:17:00.000-07:00

the song just means so much more.
will any of these ever stay in you ?

---
im not suppose to be here.

2007-07-29T09:20:00.000-07:00

joa texted me from aussie.that darl.

-----

i'll take a break frm the cyber life. i'll come back when im ready or when im done dealing with life's shitholes. it'll act as a good abstain frm the com also. which is a good thing.

im done with expecting too much. okay.. i'll rephrase it. im done expecting frm people.
and im done thinking that everything will turn out okay.

on another whole different expect,

i sense a whole different person when i look at pictures and see you the way you are when we're around other people. maybe i can't take the difference. and i want someone really true to be there. thank you though. hahahaha. for everything. you've made plenty of times special. (:

im not ending it here though. not like linkin park. dont worry. (:

i need to hang out with the ones i love. like really go wild and shop till we drop like we all used to.
i'll have the time , SOON! (:

take care ya'll!
night.

2007-07-28T05:37:00.000-07:00

ohman! ha. i need my life back. really do! haven't seen myself in twn seen ... a LONG time. hah. okay.point is , im beginning to feel .. like im circulating only round woodlands and the furtherest being only yishun esp during the week. still , 've gotta loose some to get some! HA.

anyway , im beginning to be damn accident prone. few weeks back. i fell smack down scraping my knees cause shadiq INTENTIONALLY tripped me for his own sense of self humour . and then it was last week that i hammered my finger and cause a blood clot. then.. i accidentally sawed my finger during another time in the workshop. and today , aft the cip , when we girls were getting out of a stall.. i missed a step and fell. funny thing was , i was kneeling dwn. haha. the fall turned my ankle into a shitload of pain aft i got up in the aftnoon. SEE now why i say im being damn accident proned nowadays?

ANYWAY! the cip this yr turned out to be super-ly unfruitful. its the first that i stood and just smiled. and i was really amazed at the no. of people willing to donate when u just stand and smile! haha. okay. bt i did that for less then an hr. and the rest of the time was just spent lazing. and we landed ourselves in starbucks. hahah. of all places. the rest of the guys met us up later part. and i screwed my tastebuds cause i took on the new mango/passionfruit juice blend. i shld have just stuck to my java chip. gosh. and it was a total waste of buckaroos. hah.

was suppose to head dwn to KAP's macs to meet up with KK in the evening to really put my heart into studying. sadly , aft the nap , the ankle got worse. hahah. so .. i had to kiss that goodbye! hah.

it sucks to have a teacher hope so high for you.naturally , the expectations are higher too. bt when it gets to a point that communicating so damn difficult , it creates a barrier. and MAN! it sucks.
------
i have MAMBO JAMBO's 2007!
and i just bought holding up the earth by dianne k - i think.
and .. more cd;s.
-----
i hate to think that sometimes , the friendship's a fake and that we;re only like that cause u have smthing to gain. it just seems that way to me. its called the stage of doubt . and i don;t like feeling this way.
-----
okay! (: happy cold night to the rest of the world , holding to thier lives and making them as exciting as it can be. GB!

----
gabs , i;d be here. no matter what. pour it out , all of it , u'll feel like u;ve gotten a whole load better aft that i feel. it takes time. and i knw u;ll grw out of it stronger. ilu! (:

2007-07-22T07:32:00.000-07:00

okay. SHIAT! blogger just died on me AGAIN. hahaha. i'll load up again another time.

on another note , i just got a text frm yj. bout 24korean missionaries being kidnapped! okay. whatever it is , we;re all praying they;re safe. god's keeping em.

night world. and hello to another week of sheer torture! last week was the first week i made it to school every single day since term started. i feel damn proud! okay! (:

night!

----------------------

When you have to look away
When you don't have much to say
That's when I love you
I love you
Just that way

To hear you stumble when you speak
or see you walk with two left feet
That's when I love you
I love you endlessly

And when you're mad cause you lost a game
Forget im waiting in the rain
Baby I love you
I love you anyway

Cause here's my promise made tonight
You can count on me for life
Cause that's when I love you
When nothing you do could change my mind
The more I learn the more I love
The more my heart can't get enough
That's when I love you
When I love you no matter what

So when you turn to hide your eyes
Cause the movie, it made you cry
That's when I love you
I love you a little more each time

And when you can't quite match your clothes
Or when you laugh at your own jokes
That's when I love you
I love you more than you know

And when you forget that we had a date
Or that look that you give when you show up late
Baby I love you
I love you anyway

Cause here's my promise made tonight
You can count on me for life
Cause that's when I love you
When nothing you do could change my mind
The more I learn the more I love
The more my heart can't get enough
That's when I love you
When I love you no matter what

That's when I love you
When nothing baby
Nothing you do could change my mind
The more I learn the more i love
The more my heart can't get enough
Thats when I love you
When I love you
No matter what

No matter what

happy birthday to joa joa and belated to kel.chua hoe ann! a.k.a triple c! cocky , crappy , chua!

2007-07-22T06:58:00.000-07:00

ohhh... gosh! life's been.... GOOD!

haha. with school being sucha big part of my prog now .. i barely have time to really hang out with people i love. past weeks of not blogging , loads been happening! hhaha.
.
first up , finally tasted the pain-stakingly queued for donuts from donut factory! can't say its fantastic. bt the thought really counts when ... xx knew i was feeling like crap and wanted to cheer me up. then , there was the saree! hahaha. yeah..RHD'07 , to my surprise actually worked out awesome! haha. yeahh. life's been too filled to list every single prog dwn .. but i really just thank god for everything's that been happening. ! (: hahah.

OH! and aunt cn and uncle phil's heading to hongkong tomorrow morn. and then back to perth. ): no more cool sat evenings. they'll be coming back to sg though.just not sure when. and uncle lloyd;s gotten the five-day disney land pass .. the one in LA.for claire bryan and themselves.. they're staying right in LA's disney land! so cool. i hope i can visit them in Vancouver.. soon!

i have a lot of pictures to load up. let's just hope blogger doesn;t die on me this time.

and .. i HATE aunties that think damn highly of emselves. like. im totally not being a snob. and i really communicate well with nice cleaners.. bt the one ystday just turned me off so badly.. i was fuming mad! ARG!

2007-07-09T20:24:00.000-07:00

im damn ill disciplined. gosh! i can't believe im not in school again. the habit's gotta stop man. okay. frankly , on my part im alr feeling like shit. so it doesn't help that some people just don't understand enough. and then ... speculations are made. landing me in a deeper load of shit then im in right now.

sat was spent at marina square , immersing myself in sales galore! ha. and then ... it was dwn to the BAY. right near esplanade for the parade. the fireworks were awesome! and the guards of honour were good. ahahah. the paragliding too. we left a lil bit earlier so we could beat traffic and make it to novena square by 9.30 .. to collect the cake before chocz closed. and then .. it was dinner till late.

missed church on sunday morn due to the terrible stomach flu. (i presume) hah. yeaahhh.. in the aftnoon was dwn to the hdb hub for brother's investment talk. hahaha. we headed dwn twn and walked at wheelock! then .. it was borders for the cds again. met parents and sis in modestos and ours seemed exclusive cause we had a single waitress serving and it was a really private affair. we sat at exactly the same place we've been seating every single time we're at modestos. okay. anyway , dinner was good. and aft dinner was the walk dwn to borders again .. got the chill:brazil and the pretty covered amethystium cds. cost 60bucks. hagen daz's macadamia nut icecream with bro next and my pencil box. (: hhahahaha.

anyway! ive gotta be feeling remorse for not turning up in school again.
its been too many times lately.

must make a pact with mum soon. shall stop skipping school for no bloody good reason.
hate the guilt.

gonna have donut factory's LATER! ahahaha. a wonderful wonderful person's in the damn long queue now at raffles city so that we can have it later! haha.

i have reasons for doing what im doing. and im a person with emotions. so pls don;t expect me to sit back , listen to your bull and not feel anything. cause i damn well know that ur made outta pure lies. every part of you is stuck with lies covering each other - forming you. the intense frustration is inexplainable. really.

on a another totally "not relevant to what i was ranting about above" ,

some people , i must say are just filled with so much confidence. such that faking their lives out and making it seem like its perfect is a swing. they blog like they're filled with a huge basking shit load of vocab and they treat the people around them like they're the dearest to their hearts. but actually use them for their self-reassurance purpose. god , let me feel nthing towards em, i really do want to.

on another hand , there's another inexplainable comfort to knw that i have that one person holding my back for me. ilu. (:

2007-07-07T21:06:00.000-07:00

thank god the weekend's here! (:

yst was a supposedly short meet up with gabs. but , we turned out catching up over glorious pizza and baileys green tea. (: later part , mum came to pick me up and we were supposedly suppose to head to hp cause she had a meeting there. but aunt CN cancelled it. so yeahh. and so , night was spent editing pictures and on the phone till 1am with edd. aft that kelv called. but i fell asleep and didnt pick up.

this morn , kelv texted and was planning to go dwn twn with me to get his sister's present and collect bro's cake and get his present. but... i cant'! ): i have to cancel all my plans including zara sales and shopping .. cause , i just got 3tics for the NDP preview this evening. ohwell , its going to be a first at the bay for ndp .. so i don't mind. farid and rusydi's going too! seperately that is. hahah.

on another note , my orals yst sucked really badly. thank you to those that were there to listen. amazing how i cried over chinese orals.

---------

ANYWAY , here are the pictures we took when we sent shan off! (:

savour.

------------

happy birthday marc chan. hahahahaah.
21st! the big 2 - 1 ! legal to enter attica. haha.
pray you;ll start taking charge of more things around. and get ur freaking driving license soon!
thank you for being the bastard that's been shouting at me and kicking sense into my head. as much as i like to hate you. i nv will.cause i knw ur doing it for me.
loves.

----
im sorry.
there used to be a point of time where this happened ..

There was this night, which I cried really hard.
The next morning, I found myself again, in tears.

Well, I wished time hadn't passed this fast.
Time is beauty, something which is meant for all of us to appreciate and treasure.
A master healer in everything, a double-edged sword.
Just so you know, everything is gone.

and so. time's passed.
and ur passed.
so no matter how much truth there is in you wanting to ever reconcile , i'll be held back by the hurt that was once present.

maybe u don't get it when i say that the hurt numbs me.

2007-07-04T08:03:00.000-07:00

past week's been a BLAST! really.

the meet up with gab last wed was (: . we talked. and in such a short time managed to promise each other that we two wld make it to KL for shopping end of the year or next jan when im free. then there was sat that was spent studying in the day and making it strght for worship prac at night .. followed by a good night at HP! (: haha. yeap!

sun morning , got up at 5AM in the freaking morn to make it to the airport on time to send the friend off to shanghai! SHANNON! gosh. going to terribly miss him. let's hope he sticks to the promises made before he went into the depature hall. damn teary-emo moment. haha.

aft that was breakfast with the bunch and i rushed dwn to church! mum came picking me up at the bus stop. i sang WELL. erh...that was judging frm the praises made. (: haha. it was solo during worship and an item sung tgther with esh accompanied by the piano and the violin. aft service was lunch frm CLARITY's! we catered! for anniversary. the food was AWESOME! hah. and then there was that debate between joshua alex euo and i . arggg... HAHA.

okay. i was then dropped at serangoon station by dearest uncle lloyd! and then to dhoby ghaut to meet up with edd! hahah. been damn long since the two of us hung out and shopped like that. (atleast he did) . hahah. we walked like damn a lot .. and my feet hurt the next day! hah. zara's ON SALE! hah. yes. anywayy..we met up with the other bunch at haagen daz's . OMG. u really do not wanna knw what happened . hahahahahaha.. okay. but the ice cream was sinful! haha. yeps! aft that, was the walk dwn to the bay. but .... SORTA had plans to make my way off to HP. and so was planning to leave.. so edd and i left. but decided to dinner .. so dinner it was. then ... it was the craziness , the stupidness , the wackiness and everything that came in. haha. headed back aft that , got dwn at yck to head to HP. and i got there like LATE. spent an hour there. .. and headed home aft that. ZW was , "AHYA! U COME SO LATE! WE'RE GOING TO SLEEP ALR LA! GO HOME!!!! " so rude! hahaha. and then there was the short check up by the uncle himself . haha.

monday. hp in the evening. dinnered there. and aunt cn and uncle phil were hinting me of going to AUSSIE to study! to think that i managed to brush it off a few months back. now , they want me to graduate frm the university of western Australia . so its either i really make it in sg .. or im confirmed flying there to get my education done up! AWH! im going to find it damn hard to leave sg. HOW!?!!?!

i'll let god decide.

(:

okay! hah. im dead beat nw! and there's darn lessons , lessons aft sch and tuition aft that. - tml.
night!

p/s : happy birthday you.

2007-06-25T18:50:00.000-07:00

omg. can't believe im on the net now. its freaking 9.40am. and its a school day.anywayy.. heck it. here's the update for the pass week! haha.

week's been fun-filled with the cycling sess at pulau ubin on sat and the meet up with bing at holland v on sunday aft church! hahah.

yeah.. the cycling sess at P.U was an ubber experience. we braved the freaking rain and still cycled! were soaking wet aft that though. we had to close our eyes leaving a little space only to roughly see where we were going cause the rain was damn heavy and it was literally blinding us! haha. aft that we chilled abit .. and then headed back. unlce H.S was so nice to pick us up frm the jetty! ha.to hp! showered at hp aft. in the night , euo and i bus-ed dwn to jln kayu's prata for horlicks dinosaur! was a first! ha.

sunday was churchh...... and then .. at the end of the service , i walked passed joshua.. he freaking scanned me frm head to toe .. and went ," cool shoes! love em!"... hahaha. don't figure what that means though! met bing outside taka cause i had cravings for yaki-tori! hahahahahha. aft that , we bused dwn to holland.v and passed whitebait on the way! i miss that place lurrrh. ahaha. yawh. we settled at NYDC aft realizing that the icecream place wasn't so appealing. and so , tea in the aftnoon was the elephancino and smashing tasty NY;s. people watching was damn fun. and catching up with her was too! hah. aft that , we went to get baking stuff for her and then my stationaries. at which she suddenly became damn crazy. she started shouting my name every few seconds.damn funny... hah.

yest was spent back at school! hah. can't say much though. feels funny without shannon around! aft i got back in the evening , i headed dwn to katong. for dinner! hahaha. and then to siglap rd. for drinks. got back like close to 12.

so .. that sorta explains why i ain't in school. and for a few , u shld knw.

okay! the pictorial side!
on second thoughts , i think i'll do it another time. hahaha. see ya;ll! (:

2007-06-20T23:28:00.000-07:00

OKAY! FINALLY ABLE TO LOAD UP EM PICS. so , not in any order of sequences , here they are! just AC's concert , followed up by the dinner at chijmes and the cycling sess.

------------------------

---------------------

--------------------

yeap! hah. ystday was spent having pie and tea lunching over the encore of the mtv movie awards. sarah silverman's comment turned paris off so bad! haha. the whole sess of awards was really good. and not surprisingly , BORAT was in for many of the nominations. haha. but i thank god POTC won BORAT. - really thank god.

in the evening , i met up with the 2 girls to head down to the victoria concert hall to catch AC's muse concert. must say that the concert was one that was quite POWER! hahahaha ... really. i figure eunice olsen's an ex-acjc band mem cause she performed as a piano soloist in one of the items. the evening was good. but my damn RADAR was SPOILT LAR! shit. - (hahahaha.inside joke. the 2 girls wld knw) yeah . the concert ended 10plus round 1030. aft that we walked boat quey to look for makan but i just really wanted to dinner at makansutra. so we headed there! (: we dinnered till like 12! and i caught eye with the dance floor's judges! hahahaha. the man was fucking gay i tell u. ohwell heck. cause in that table was a familiar face. (:

we tried catching the last train back. but shittttttt .. we actually got locked in esplanade! hah. and so ,the nice guard opened the exit just for US! ha. and we missed the last train. the sweet cab driver was really nice to send us each back home for only 15bucks! hahah. that uncle and i talked quite a bit aft the 2 girls were dropped. i like talking to cab uncles .. cause i think they have a lot of experience and they hear a lot of stories .. so they can relate really well with us. this is the last week of hol's. and , i've spent at least close to 100bucks on cab fare these hol. man o man ...

for the girl pals out there , MANGO starts sale-ing TODAY! hahahahahahah... quick start shopping. i still always believe that the early bird catches the best worms. m giving today a miss. probably going dwn TOMORROW! (: AHAHAHAH. okay. been shopping a whole load of shiat this hols' man. need to tame myself.

as much as im feeling that tinge of crappineess and disappointment , life still goes on! and so , i've learnt to understand that aft every storm , the rainbow appears. and people continue with their daily routines. most of the time , the storm comes back again .. but then , it'll end soon enough and the rainbow appears again. its just a basic routine that many has to go through .. so i don;t see why i shld torture myself and blind myself frm the sweet beautiful rainbow. u loose smthing,to see smthing. i've seen those things... the things that mean much more.

in gab's letter really long a go , she states let go , let god.
im beginning to fully embrace the sentence now.
thanks darling!

stay good ya;ll.
BYE!

2007-06-19T06:32:00.000-07:00

thank you lord for the people i can fall back on. and for the indescribable comfort that tinges inside me when they bother to hear me out.

yesterday night was one of those that broke and tore me apart. everything amazingly seemed to take place really swiftly and as much as it may seemed like it didn't make sense , it did. i need god most now. i'll learn and i'll grw and understand soon , and in time to come , i'll get over every single detail (atleast i hope and pray so) , but just not now. a hiccup shldn't cause me to stop breathing ... aft a series of it , it'll pass and i'll be normal again. - just not now.

as i sat in my room in the night , the stillness was broken like how i was broken inside. i hate myself for ever thinking that we'd remain this way forever. u take for granted the fact that u mean much more to me than most people do.atleast now i knw what your stand is and how u can just shut the door in my face like that .. not considering the fact that may be i've left smthing in there .. all the feelings i guess.

it broke me .. it really did. it broke me to knw that u;d give up just like that. and it broke me even more to knw that you threw/deleted away the one thing that always acted as a form of reassurance.

i passed gab's blog. and i cldn't help but really be filled with emotions.

hey melc

you dont have to explain anything ; i know
The sense of loss is inexplicable; the rawness of your emotions feeding on you, you wondering how long it takes before your heart stops breaking. how emotional hurt can translate into physical pain....
thinking about how foolish you were assuming that the world was made of cupcakes and chocolate flakes
you'll wake up knowing that this was what it took to knock you to your senses , that you'll never allow that kind of intrusion ever again
but in this trauma dont allow cynicism to slip in , because trust me, it will be like a familiar friend , preventing you from embracing the greater love in this world
your family is who you can fall back on, and dont forget other friends more worthy of your time
ultimately, learn to forgive

lastly,
it definitely takes ALOT more to break you! God doesnt dole out more than what you can take. chin up girl, take on this experience and be stunned by the insight you'll gain . the world operates on a macro scale , so look at the big picture and learn to take things easy!
life goes on (as always) - you'll find that it's just like the 4 seasons .
somehow, we become more indifferent and our threshold for hurt expands. after a while, it's just a routine .....
but its better to fall and get up than always cautiously watching our backs and not embracing life at all

i'll always be here
love,
gab

i thank god for her. and for the people that bothered. u all mean much more than u guys think u mean to me. lastly, Sebastian for putting aside what he had to do to listen to me pour my hearts out and cry the night away.it all made me feel better.

and lastly but most importantly god. for the strength given to withstand it still.

2007-06-18T06:59:00.000-07:00

ystday was just pure fucking highness! PURE RETAIL! (: haha. money was just splurged everywhere. got a 50buck top/dress. a 70bucks skirt frm topshop. a 60bucks checkered top frm topshop. was at pazzion and sis gt a pair of shoes. 2 shirts frm far east for the two boys. in total , spent close to 300bucks an evening. dinner was at bukit timah , AGAIN.

the night cycling on fri was a blast. and it was damn tiring. ass hurt,palms hurt,legs hurts,calfs hurt. everything just damn achy.knocked my little finger before we even reached the main part of the night. skin was peeled and all... it BLED! hahahaha. yeah. the whole night was kinda all rushed. but thanks to dear dear bud , edd... hahahaa. he came over to fix the bike. and so , we breaked at rail mall ... drank and rested. continued to main stretch of bukit timah .. where we had a long break at al-ameen. (: hahahahah... aft that was cycle all the way till practically the end of the area.the guys laid in the middle of the damn road! like... they were damn crazy. the thought of cycling back to woodlands tormented my brains ... and i cldn't retain the energy level aft the rest at mac's. so ... edd and i cabbed back and sebas and jp continued cycling. mannnnnn! hahaha.. i woke up feeling sored. rushed to hp for cell meeting and then worship prac.

shit happened sat night. thank god u were there. sunday morn , was late for service! made everyone wait for me so that they cld start .. damn malu-ating.hahahah. then the long father's day prog and then sermon. lunch aft church was okay la. had terrible terrible news that destroyed abit of what i've been feeling for so long.

today , skipped the whole day of wrkshp sess cause i woke up damn late! ARRR. i feel painfully guilty for not having made it. spent the day doing the mshs's paper. we all settled for CARNIVORE at CHIJMES for dinner and made reservations. headed dwn to cityhall at 6 and met up with mum and dad. dinner was good and the service was ultra. the ambiance was perfect and the company was great. hahahaha... hot hot guys surrounded us too. HAHAHA. ANYWAY , beer goes damn well with the beef there! hah. we ordered like , jugs. yeah.. bro left for TIMBER .. we hung out and headed home aft awhile.

currently in love with everything that has gotta do with brazil. their brazilian food and man , my all time fav brazilian songs.

yes. and also , JAZZ! (: just got 2cds with 65jazz compilations (:

will load up the pictures soon! blogger;s SCREWED! gotta change the webhost man.

nightya;ll baby!

2007-06-11T03:46:00.000-07:00

nv fight a feeling. nv fight for what u want but knw u can't have. there ain't a point. it pratically applies to everything in life. i mean , if u;ve tried and knw tt no matter how the fuck you try to make things work or good by fighting the errored feelings toward it , it'll nv work or its pointless .. then why bother!? seriously.

I tried to fight the feeling, the feeling took me down,
I struggle and I lost the day you knocked me out,
Now everything’s got meaning and meanings bring me down,
I’m watching as the screening of my life plays out.

Every day I fight these feelings,
For your sake I will hide the real thing,
You can run all your life; for mine, I will chase...

You should never fight your feelings,
When your very bones believe them,
You should never fight your feelings,
But you have to follow nature’s law.

I’ll live with never knowing, if knowing’s gonna change,
I’ll stop the feeling growing, I will stay away,
Like a broken record stuck before a song,
A million beginnings, none of them the one.

Every day I fight these feelings,
For your sake I will hide the real thing,
You can run all your life; for mine, I will chase...

You should never fight your feelings,
When your very bones believe them,
You should never fight your feelings,
But you have to follow nature’s law.

I wrote her letters and tried to send them,
In a bottle I placed my hope,
And it’s the last will of good intentions,
Seek your will, you’ll give it to me,
Don’t make me wait,
You build me up, now take down,
But I will stand my ground,
And I’m inspired when I’m found.

You should never fight your feelings,
When your very bones believe them,
If you let them show you’ll keep them,
I know you’re hurt but soon you’ll rise again,
again, again, again, again, again, again, again..

You should never fight your feelings,
When your very bones believe them,
You should never fight your feelings,
I have to follow nature’s law.

to say that im not affected by circumstances right now is a lie. but i can say that im taking your shit in and processing it. its partially processed right now.i finally see everything clearer. the gleam to another chapter.

oooooohh man. why the fuck do i bother to do these. you don't care shit.

------------

i breath,eat,feel,touch,hear,smell,shit,taste,dream and the list goes on .. with the damn workshop! 9 hours everyday! gosh.

1 day down. MANY MORE TO GO.

thank u marj for being there. (:

oh! and i did retail ystday! was at marina square. we started at NOVO.and hahahahahaha... bought 3 pair of shoes in a day! and a pair of shorts. dinner in the evening was with family near bugis .. the steamboat. hah.

okay. i feel shit tired. and brain's damn dead.

so many songs i love to ruminate with now...

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do

----

i knw that i don't mean anything. i knw that the highest we can ever reach is these. and i totally feel the same. but that doesn't show and mean that i don't treat u preciously. it sucks to not be EVER reciprocated. damn. its over.

maybe god's telling me not to ever expect too much frm anyone. cause smtimes , some people just lack the basic necessities to even make up for everything.

2007-06-09T08:26:00.000-07:00

hello. im back frm a week of full filled lifestyle. (: hah.

ahhh. last sat night was mr.kok's place. mannn.. his place was quite awesome. and the dinner and whole night spent there was really good. halfway through dinner. a gang of us took a breather and kinda hung out outside awhile ... had a few drinks before joining back into the fun back at his place. his wife was really nice also! ha. daughter. and s.o.n. tooo.. man! hah. we all reached home like late. and i woke up damn early the next day so that i cld practice with alex for worship. aft that was lunch at old airport road and video ezy. got like 6 dvds. gosssshhhhh.... it was extra-ly fun to movie marathon with bro.. cause that made sure i didn't fall asleep. hah.

and then... mon was a free day off for me. and the rest of the week was just loada lessons. but the nights were spent dinnering at mad jack's and a lot at J.K. , like spizza's. dropped by hp a few times too. HAH. first was zw. and second was just the extra entertaining stuff that happened.

fri night was spent with lucien kimlai and shannon. we dinnered and just caught up! it was really good larh! hahaha.. yeah. and apparently we had free ice-cream cause it was shan's birthday! ha. we kindaa walked around and all... and just talked and laughed like a lot. then , apparently , aft shan left the three of us were suppose to hang out.. but we kinda did otherwise. yeap. shan't talk about it. aft that , when i got home.. it was just pissing at the dearest bud on the phone! yeahh. kinda felt bad though. he was really nice though! thank you for being so damn understanding and for listening to me pour all that crap out. aft that... i fell asleep.

this morn , alex texted me and said that youth was cancelled. and it was kinda like 1 already. so there wasn't a point of trying to make myself available for michelle's party. i was suppose to meet vivien and she ended up switching the time so late! so ... i just ended up hanging out at holland.v. with kel.and stopped by mj for rentals again. then .. it was dinner at chomps in the evening. (: hah.

and tmrw's HP again! (: HAHAHAHAHHA.

ohwells! look!

pls excuse the weird looking face in the two pics before the last one! hah. kimlai was alll crazy that night!

okay!

gotta say that MAMBO JAMBO rocks. (:

night u all.

2007-06-01T07:34:00.000-07:00

it feels excruciatingly sucky when ive gotta see a picture evidence to knw that im not as well informed as the "rest" of the people. to think that i'd be the first person u guys wld have told. to think that maybe , just maybe , ya'll would want me dwn to just be there and lend that extra "support" that i have. i mean , afterall , considering the fact that i thought we were damn close , i felt that the "maybe.s and think.s" were all just SUPPOSED to be. i guess not now. the uncomfortable feeling i get when we hang out. we seem so close but yet to me , it seems like i barely even knw you guys. to the friend , think "can't be bothered , too busy now , bro , hospital , OH OKAY , O .. i see ." all the times u try and end the convo like that. rubbish la. it was all rubbish. a friend that doesn't have a phone on him can actually bother to use the freaking public phone and search for 2 10-cent coins just to call and check up on me when he heard frm euo. but you , when we were already on the line , and when i didn't turn up for lessons and cip on wed , u just .. to simply put it , didn't care. shan't ruminate about it. there isn't a point.

aft the amount of wakes and funerals i've been to the past 2 months , i've realised that life's really toooo damn short! really. there isn't a point in making things u wanna make seem perfect cause they don't or won't see why. the effort;s just wasted.

at times , being pms-y , emo-fied and attp-ied isn't really wrng or horrible. we just need a period of time , whereby we can just feel like shit , give the whole bloody world a dressing but yet have a hormonal reason for it. that isn't the case now though.

---

bro got under the knives today. it was just shitty that i cldn't be there when he went into the operating theater and be able to go dwn today. shall head dwn tomorrow! then meet up with the cell and then dinner at mr.kok's place! buffet and bbq! (: im betting its gonna be a night of full STRAIGHT fun. hah. cause its just the catch up! and booze i think.

hah. okay! this was pictures in the hospital ystday night! ha. .. i reckon im really good at the wheelchair now. really.

---------------

There was a time I packed my dreams away
Living in a shell, hiding from myself.
There was a time when I was so afraid
I thought I’d reached the end.
Baby, that was then.
But I am made of more than my yesterdays.

This is my now,
And I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around,
I can’t believe the love I see.
My fear’s behind me,
Gone are the shadows and doubt.
That was then.
This is my now.


I had to decide.
Was I gonna play it safe?
Or look somewhere deep inside,
Try to turn the tide.
Find the strength to take that step of faith?

This is my now,
And I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around,
I can’t believe the love I see.
My fear’s behind me,
Gone are the shadows and doubt.
That was then.
This is my now.

I have a courage like never before, yeah.
I settled for less, but I’m ready for more.
Ready for more…

This is my now,
And I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around,
I can’t believe the love I see.
My fear’s behind me,
Gone are the shadows and doubt.
That was then.
This is my now,
And I am breathing in the moment.
As I look around,
I can’t believe the love I see.
My fear’s behind me,
Gone are the shadows and doubt.
That was then.
This is my now.
This is my now.

night!

2007-05-31T00:34:00.000-07:00

been hell of a past-few-days. haha. monday was the o-level chi paper. the whole day kinda sucked for me. OHWELLS. hah. have edi gotten over it. and then straight aft the paper was home to get ready and met joanne aft tt. finally brought her to clarity's! ((: hahahaha. yeaps! food was good and the catch up too. was just hanging round and headed dwn to haji again..! hahahaha. then we walked suntec and m.s and headed back!

tues was suppose to be damn slackish. cause lessons were cancelled and i was planning to head to jb with bro and maybe chelsea. but .. we kinda rmbered that he was on ARMY-MC-LEAVE .. and he cldn't leave sg. so yeah .. we just chilled out. in the aftnoon , bro was doing some stuffs in the room and started yelling my name.. i was like "WHHHHHHHATTTT NOWWWW?!" hah. turned out , his knee locked and cldn't straighten it. so we rushed him dwn to ttsh. ha. and the whole freaking day was spent at the AnE unit. which was quite an experience. it was practically war-zone there. yep. left in the evening to get things for bro and went back in the night again. he had to be hospitalized. and wed morning i headed dwn again. chelsea was there. so .. we played GERMAN BRIDGE! hahahaahah. it was damn funny. yeah

went for the ijc concert later part of the night... and the catch up with all of them was pretty much worth the trip down.. ! haha. headed dwn to the cathay aft the concert to collect my free shrek3 tickets courtesy of chelsea! yeap! got vivien to come along. so we caught the 11.15pm one. and spent the time after the movie(12-1am) dinnering. then ... we walked and headed dwn to boat quay. next place i have to head to is eski bar. MUST.yeah.and. there was puke on the floor. there were people lying dead drunk on the side of the road and there were just crazy men trying to dance to some music. the night was awesome. and funny. when we finally decided to head home at 3am in the morning , the bus decided to take its own sweet time. so while waiting for it to come .. i saw geraldine!she probably just came out of t.s bar .. (supposedly her fav!) hah. yeap!when we finally got back home it was 4 plus! and i knocked out at 5!

cancelled tuition today. probably heading dwn to ttsh later.

pictures now! (:

we outta thank buddha for the free day we have today!
okay. and i shall go catch the curse of the golden flower now!
bye.

2007-05-25T10:15:00.000-07:00

sometimes , when you see the things happening around and to the people around you. you stop and think if the world is really what you see it to be and if it really is as nice as you think. you look at some .. and they seem so perfect on the outside .. yet when they open up themselves , u start to feel that maybe they aren't the sort you wanna hang out with. yet , there are some that have already opened up to us and triggered us to want to accept them as part of our lives and hold them dearly to our hearts. u see , accepting is one thing .. but allowing the acceptance to grow is another. and after growing , keeping it steady and not letting it fall of and hit rock bottom is another. its like how a friend is there no matter what to reassure us that no matter what .. , we'll have them. it suck big time to knw that there are people that betray each other for personal gain. the torment of betrayal doesn't hit them till they feel it for themselves. on another note , if a good friend makes it straight up to u and tells u what he or she feels , knwing that it'll hurt you therefore hoping she'll save u from that hurt , it means she cares. but if u challenge that fact that what she feels is right is not .. then screw yourself. and wait till u get a taste of what she predicted .. you'll feel the guilt , the torment and the belief to have trusted her. - heh. trust me.i've been there.
----
chinese o's. on monday! omg. frankly , im trusting god on this one. i knw , they say we ain't gonna do well if we don't work. .. i've tried. really. REALLY! zoomgg! i have okay. the week of pure chinese studies was damn enlightening. haha. atleast i realized that i could pass chinese. which i did la.. last paper for the week. i have caught shrek3! - go figure! (: hah. yeahh.

im still trusting god in all.. (: love , life , sch , everything.

I tried to fight the feeling, the feeling took me down,
I struggle and I lost the day you knocked me out,
Now everything’s got meaning and meanings bring me down,
I’m watching as the screening of my life plays out.

Every day I fight these feelings,
For your sake I will hide the real thing,
You can run all your life; for mine, I will chase...

You should never fight your feelings,
When your very bones believe them,
You should never fight your feelings,
But you have to follow nature’s law.

I’ll live with never knowing, if knowing’s gonna change,
I’ll stop the feeling growing, I will stay away,
Like a broken record stuck before a song,
A million beginnings, none of them the one.

Every day I fight these feelings,
For your sake I will hide the real thing,
You can run all your life; for mine, I will chase...

You should never fight your feelings,
When your very bones believe them,
You should never fight your feelings,
But you have to follow nature’s law.

I wrote her letters and tried to send them,
In a bottle I placed my hope,
And it’s the last will of good intentions,
Seek your will, you’ll give it to me,
Don’t make me wait,
You build me up, now take down,
But I will stand my ground,
And I’m inspired when I’m found.

You should never fight your feelings,
When your very bones believe them,
If you let them show you’ll keep them,
I know you’re hurt but soon you’ll rise again,
again, again, again, again, again, again, again..

You should never fight your feelings,
When your very bones believe them,
You should never fight your feelings,
I have to follow nature’s law.

it touches you.

----
on another note.

people live,people learn,people grow,people leave.

night world.

2007-05-22T08:13:00.000-07:00

I hope you’re doing fine up there without me
'Cause I'm not doing so good without you
The things I thought you'd never know about me
Were the things I guess you always understood
So how could I have been so blind for all these years
I guess I only see the truth
through all this fear of living without you

And everything I have in this world
And all that I'll ever be
It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me

I can’t take another day without you
'Cause, baby, I could never make it on my own
I've been waiting so long just to hold you
And to be back in your arms where I belong
I'm sorry I can't always find the words to say
But everything I've ever known gets swept away
Inside of your love

And everything I have in this world
All that I'll ever be
It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me

As the days roll on I see
Time is standing still for me
When you’re not here
I’m sorry I can’t always find the words to say
Everything I’ve ever known gets swept away
Inside of your love

x2
And everything I have in this world
And all that i'll ever be
It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me

current fav song. (: night ya;ll!

2007-05-22T03:56:00.000-07:00

hello cyber-electronic-world! haha.

its just been getting over papers and hanging out a lot the pass week and weekend! hahahaha. yeap! last sat was hang out with bings! hah. yep! omg. we took like A LOT of pictures. and omg .. i saw like so many people i knew throughout the whole day man!haha. we really spent time catching up and it was damn funny hanging out with her! it was SHOPPING! and having my fav rum and raisin and taking lots of pictures and dinnering at hongkong cafe and having killer legs(we walked the whole day) , buying indie-cheena pouches, and really just spending the whole day having like FUN! hah. and filling her in with zw! (: hahaha.

sunday was service in the morning , lunch with cell and uncle lloyd aft tt. he was damn sweet! cause he acted as if he was going to the gents and came back. when we were about to leave , wewere trying to settle the bill and he told us he settled it edi.HAH. and then it was us having fun in his car while he drove me , melanie , esh and euo all the way down to zouk! when he was suppose to head back to office in JURONG! omg. he's really damn nice! and thing is , he got claire hilary duff concert tickets (in canada of course) for her birthday! how sweet can he get!? gosh.

zouk flea at zouk was SMASHING! i thank god we got there right on the dot! cause we managed to get the good stuff! (: hahahah. i got like ANOTHER bag , new hot funky shades and a gucci pouch! there was loads of ass-touching , smoke flying , gay running and a proposal was made in there!hahaha. the place was HOT! yeah. aft tt , we headed to great world.. hung out. shopped more at zara.. and took shuttle to orchard.got materials needed for xxx and walked like damn A LOT! did a lot of shopping. left town for tp aft tt and headed for uncle lim's wake. zw was there lurh. AHYA! and.. yeah. left soon aft the service and headed to changi.

funny thing was i was in church in jeans. then i stripped my jeans off aft the zouk flea , hung out in dress and got my pants back on in the evening when i attended the service! it was quite cool!hahahahah.

ystday was just pure damn chinese! like really pure. till freaking 6PM! frm morning. yeah. as if it wasn't bad enough , i had to attend another dinner function at tp's sakura. mann .. the company was good though. managed to catch up with zach,nich,aud and all the people larh. and then it was on the phone till 11.30 with the teacher. that was a first!hah. anywaayy...

PICTURES YA;LL!!!

2007-05-14T17:57:00.000-07:00

okay!hah. sat was spent celebrating mother's day. manhattan fish market at plaza sing. we made reservations at 7.30pm but got there only at 8! hahaah. the crew was really nice and they actually rmbered my name!duh.i made reservations. bt they took note of it and made the setting seem real casual! hah. the food was great! the flaming prawns were good! ha. taste abit like pork floss though. mum received the bouquet picked by the 3 of us. and so we dinnered till like 10.10-ish. and then .. a member of the crew came up and asked if we wanted to get a polaroid taken.there was an inside joke and all of us laughed like hell.. leaving the poor waiter clueless!hahaha. yeah.so anyway. we had our pictures taken! and aft tt , bro left to meet up with nich and amos. and we went to fort canning! (: yeah. sorta ended the night there.

ouhh! i really am catching midsummer night's dream no matter what! hah. yeahh. sunday, was spent having mother;s day celebs in church! this yr's celebs were wayyyy different. it was quite sweet to see all the men going up to thier wives to kiss them and give them the set of flowers infront of the whole congregation!hah.aft service was spent lunching with uncle ronney and euo. and so ... he had to blurt out what he saw tt day! ARRRRH! hahahahaha... he said tt zainal was starrringg at him like dunno what man.ANYWAY. zw came along.. and uncle ronney left. we talked.yeah.. abt amos. like when the hp guys talk to me .. they always use amos. i don't get it! arg. why him man..... so anyway. sent uncle edmund and aunt esther to the evangelical free church aft tt cause it was on the way back home.. and they had to preach there. headed home , left for library and caught 200pound beauty! OMG! its SUPERLY GOOD! really. i cried like dunnnnoo what man. hah.

today's paper was surprisingly do-able! hah. was planning to head dwn for subway. but to make long story short , we screwed the idea and i headed home to slp. HAH. and i have the girlfriend mag from aussie! (: hah. yeahh.

i needa start working my butt of man. been slacking wayy too much.hah. ironically , im having the full day spent with bings coming sat! (: hahahahah.. finally! yeahh.

okay! i wanna go do some window shopping on the net now! bye loves!

2007-05-12T00:17:00.001-07:00

arrrrh. and so , the break was long and good. and well spent! (:
thurs night was really chomps at gardens. and then hp. we're good now! - to whoever that knws. hahahahahaah. fri was spent at the imm building cause melanie chan needed to get stuffs. finally headed to daiso man! HAH. okay. so .. aft tt we headed to bugis where i met gabs and her dear bf. we had a quick catchup and she was looking SASSY in that dress! haha.

walked to haji lane aft tt... OMG! it was a totally new shopping experience. really. and the ice cream there was REALLY good. it shall be a new hang out venue! got myself a bag!green and brown.. really the long sandy beach with perfect sunset.. kinda bag.AHAHA. nvm if u dont get me. aft tt .. parents came and met us up outside house of japan. were planning to go for egyptian food. but... they wanted to try another stall round arab st. so ... we headed there! aft dinner was back to bugis. where sis and i had things checked and wanted to get stuff with mum around to pay. so we just picked. sis got the 76bucks pants-dress. and i got the 90-somethings pair of jeans. later , i managed to get a GAP top. and had another frm fos.

finally. im heading for facial later man. facialist's zzzzzFINALLY free ! hah. hohohohoho.. gotta pary for my face man. it'd probably hurt like HELL! oooo.. i've gotta make my way dwn myself. so ve' gotta leave soon!

ANYWAY. i've got pics! it was the drinking sess really lonngggggg a go. and i think a-b-l-e took the pics. i didn't rmber doing sm of the things i did. so if i look spastic.. just go ahead and laugh. but don't ask me what i was trying to do.

SPASTIC-EST.

this was at topshop ystday.

2007-05-10T18:02:00.000-07:00

shan't talk bout e papers larh!

anyway. bro's ass is back frm taiwan!!!

yeah. and he's got shitloads of things back with him. 3pairs of freaking SLIPPERS! havaianas.2 AnF shirts. one pants one G-star cap , 9 bottles of white thin beer , a bottle of malibu and cointreau each and 3 pairs of freaking shades!!!! yeah. and a lot of the "tai yang bing" .

OMG. and guess what he got us .. (sis and i) FREAKING KEYCHIANS! a freaking monkey keychain tt "zzzzrzrrzzzzrrrrrzzzzzgggs" when i pull it. like WHAT THE HELL!!!!?-_- hahah. i mean looking at the amount of stuff he bought he could atleast pick and bag frm taiwan and bring it back to sg riteee?! yeah. and so i was complaining .. and he promised to get bags or earrings when he leaves for bangkok SOON. i think. atleast he ordered in pizza the other aftnoon! ((: hhaha.

----

oh! aft breakfast/lunch ystday , was with the load of BOYS(i had my purpose!) hahahaha. okay. ANYWAY. we were downstairs.. i saw this shirt tt said "I WANT FRESH MILK!!" .. rite. so .. i kinda pulled zainal .. about to point the shirt to him. and someone started tugging my bag! i was about to turn around and "TSK!" the person.. but i realised it was uncle ronney! .. yeah. so . he kinda asked a lot. YES. and im so dead. cause he's gonna tell ZW!!!. bummers! ):

yeah la. headed to chomps for dinner with family. and guess what.. im heading there in approx an hours time to meet up with the group for dinner. but. parents and bro's thinking of heading there. so i;ll prolly join them or smthing aft. and MAYBE we'll be heading to hp! haha.IM OFF SCHOOL TOMORROW! (:

okay! i wanna watch 200 pounds beauty! gabs just text to tell tt its damn nice. i have to catch it! can't miss it like how i missed the reaping.... - HOR!?!!?!?! eddie.

2007-05-07T21:57:00.000-07:00

AND SHIT. i just have to add tt this song has become an ADDICTION! check it out! (:

I like,
Where we are,
When we drive,
In your car.
I like,
Where we are,
Here.

Cause our lips,
Can touch.
And our cheeks,
Can brush.
Our lips can touch,
Here.

Where you are the one, the one,
That lies close to me.
Whispers, "Hello,
I miss you quite terribly."
I fell in love, in love,
With you suddenly.
Now there's no place else,
I could be, but,
Here in your arms.

I like,
Where you sleep,
When you sleep,
Next to me.
I like,
Where you sleep,
Here.

Our lips,
Can touch.
And our cheeks,
Can brush.
Cause our lips can touch,
Here.

Where you are the one, the one,
That lies close to me.
Whispers, "Hello,
I miss you quite terribly."
I fell in love, in love,
With you suddenly.
Now there's no place else,
I could be, but,
Here in your arms.

Our lips can touch.
Our lips can touch,
Here.

You are the one, the one,
That lies close to me.
Whispers, "Hello,
I miss you quite terribly."
I fell in love, in love,
With you suddenly.
Now there's no place else,
I could be, but,
Here in your...

You are the one, the one,
That lies close to me.
Whispers, "Hello,
I miss you quite, miss you quite..."
I fell in love, in love,
With you suddenly.
Now theres no place else,
I could be, but,
Here in your arms.

Here in your arms.
Oh, here in your... arms.

u'll just keep singing to it. sounds abit techno-ish at first. but u;ll realise it isn't!and its damn nice!!i was in the library just now. and i just kept singing and singing while doing bloody chem. HAH. night-really.

2007-05-07T21:51:00.000-07:00

a quickie!

ystday marj came over! hah. yeah. and it was chem in the day and math at night.and bnj's! though i felt tt ystday nights' math revision was okay i guess it still wasn't cause the paper today SUCKED! like ..really la. aft paper today , got dwn to hardcore revision. then .. lunched with jp,rusydi and vivien.

ZW.ZW.ZW!

hmm. we got a new fridge. hah. not exactly the design i chose cause i wanted to get the glass surfaced one. bt mum wanted the silver metallic matt type.OHWELLS!and i managed to finish up packing my superly,ultraly messy room! hah.

anyway.i;ve gotta say tt i;ve learnt to be more submissive as things around me change. to accept the changes be it good or bad and just give in.

i knw this is gonna sound really wrng to the ppl tt don't knw what im talking abt but... i'll say it anyway. i thank god a lot for directing me. past few months... in the area of deciding the next road to take. ive finally more or less taken it in and decided on what i'd be doing.it used to be just a "say-say" thing many wld say. but i guess i've looked at it.. and realised tt it'd actually will work out! yeah.

on another note.. hahahahah. MEL CHAN's heading to I.T.A.L.Y end of the year!! ("AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" ... - continues screaming while im typing this.) yeah.haha. plans are all tentative like date and all.. but the trip's more or less set! and parents won't be going!

haha. still. i have my o's to get over first. GOSH! what a spoiler!

and. im finally... aft the 5 years, gonna get a tutor! ha. joanne's friend's tutor. michael. i thought he was some young hot person.

ANYWAY! gotta head back to the wonderful wonderful books filled with everything but SHOPPING! -hah. very outta point i knw.

NIGHT!

i just realised it was suppose to be a short quick post but it ended up damn long!

2007-05-04T11:28:00.000-07:00

OKAY!. im ubberly glad tt CHINESE IS FREAKING O.V.E.R! (: yeah. ss too. but i pratically sucked at each paper larh. so.... wed aftnoon aft lessons. the whole grp of us caught spider man. okay. i think james franco's HOT. ANYWWAAAYY.... sorta hung round bit before the show. there was this damn cute korean boy acting all weird around us. yeah. aft the movie .. met up with the peeps at the library and was supposedly SUPPOSE to study. but i got so sick. esp my nose. i was so noisy lar.. and everyone was staring at me cause i kept sniffing. so i just decided to leave!

thurs was horror i tell u! i searched the whole freaking house and couldn't find the chi-dic. i was damn pissed!! then sister told me she brought the 2 we had to school. i was trying all means to get it before the paper started. called like HEAPS of ppl. bt didn;t work. hahaha.. then michelle the saviour appeared. found out i didn't have one and offered hers to me. OMG! i was damn happy then. -(over a chi-dic. YES.i knw. ur prolly rolling ur eyes now.)hah. i spent and wasted the rest of the day slping. and tried studying ss for an hour. aft tt i caught prison break and fashion house.

i was freaking late for fri's paper man! yeah. so anyway.. aft paper was sp
ent with the bunch of girls for breakfast at mackers. then .. hung round bit and headed home! knocked out again!suppose to meet brens in twn! but i ..erh. overslept. hah.and then and i were planning to catch 200poundsBEAUTY! but.. we both freaking over-slept also. and so .. movie was missed! at night. i met ralph up to get stuff frm him. and maurice was behind him .. following. SO ANYWAY! hah. the night on the phone was full of shit-round of emotions. HAHAHAAH. scary,funny,retarded,stupidandweird. i just found out tt when u boil ginger , it clears ur nose instantly! well... atleast tt's what edd told me larh. haven't tried it though. later part of the night (early sat morning) .. sis and i were catching little britain. i rmbered one point where i laughed freaking loudly at smthing. then .. instantly , the next sec , i fell asleep!

hahah. okayy. today's probably gonna be stay home revision. then maybe meet up with the buncha guys for dinner at either spizza's or prata at jalan kayu! ((: then. i'll be off to HP! (:
im skipping back-up prac and duty cause.. erh. im DAMMMMNNN SICK. really. -(don;t think it was tt convincing though.ha.)

OKAY!! see yall!

REZ! (: being all cute!

---------
ouh.AND I MISS THE CHINA KIDS! ): really.

ESP THIS ONE! LIU QIU JIANG! hahahahahaha..
byebye.

time spent means a lot. it shows now.

2007-04-30T23:59:00.000-07:00

shitzzoozxxxsss! i just re-visited whitebait's site. GOSH! i so feel like shit now. shouldn't have quitted man. COACH freaking held their summer arrivals' press lunch there! GOSH! i feel so ... ARG NOW! and they had such a cool new years' eve tt i was suppose to be involved in bt wasn't cause i quitted. ohwell.

i have gotten some pics though!

------------

the COACH press lunch! :

-----------

new years' eve.

(((: SEE WHY IM FEELING LIKE SHIT?! hah. ohwells.

-------

on another note , its hard to really cry and let everything out like a leaking tap tt cant be fixed. bt well , the GREAT mua has accomplished it. it feels good though .. to be able to let it all out. though we may not seem like we're going through the bestest of times lately , im glad u still listened. it helped. and .. slowly but surely , we;ll fall back into place like how we once were. (: thank you.

and crap. i really pray i do well for my eng paper.GOSH! i freaking wrote qnFIVE! i mean .. with the amount of brains i thought i had - sufficient to allow me to make a good decision , I FREAKING CHOSE QN-FIVE! . gosh. i still cant believe it la. still praying i'll do well though. his grace abounds me! (:

OMG! im falling in love with this song by third day!

I've heard it said
That a man would climb a mountain
Just to be with the one he loves
How many times, has he broken that promise
It has never been done
Well I never climbed the highest mountain
But I walked the hill of calvery
(Chorus)
Just to be with you, I'd do anything
O there's no price I would not pay no
Just to be with you, I'd give everything
O yes I would give my life away, yeah
And I've heard it said that a man would swim the ocean
Just to be with the one he loves
But all those dreams are an empty notion
It can never be done
Well I've never swam the deepest ocean
But I walked upon the raging sea, yeah
Just to be with you
Well I would do anything
Well theres no price I would not pay, no
Just to be with you
Well I would give everything
O yes I would give my life away, yeah
(Bridge)
And I know that you dont understand
The fullness of my love
And how I died upon the cross for your sins
And I know that you dont realize
How much that I gave you
but I promise, I would do it all again
Just to be with you
Well I've done everything
Well theres no price I did not pay, no
And just to be with you
Well I gave everything
O yes I gave my life away, yeah
Yes I gave my life away, yeah
Yes just to be with you
O just to be with you, O just to be with you,
O just to be with you

slowly. .. i think im being led. (: thank YOU! - the father.almighty.

2007-04-26T23:45:00.000-07:00

thank you to those tt respect the fact tt we share the common hatred for smthings. and atleast make a point to act discreetly or to totally nt at all be involved in anyway with it. bt yet. some just go on. its called the two-faced picture.-u paint a picture one side. and a whole different one on the other.

week's been a bitch!
the work load's killing me!

an alternative is private uni right aft o's or head strght to aussie for further studies. bt. ARRRRG! im still so unsure of what i want my next move to be. i feel so directionless.yet. i don't wanna take the easy way out.

Africa's on my must-go list. !

im giving up now.
im trying to now.

2007-04-23T20:27:00.000-07:00

deadlines are being cramped and rushed through so they are met. it really suck big time! anyway. sat was pure highness during worship prac and jamming sess. hahaha. it rawked so much singing and just blasting our way through. we had 2and a half hours straight of fun! (: haaha. plus zw/lw was there and involved. so it was best arh! hah.

sunday. was worship then service. alex was so irritating man! he stole my seat. in the end .. euo , alex , joshua and i sat tgther. hahaha. aft service , kieth came up and was like "MEL! u messaged me arh!? and u told me u got my no. frm roy at zouk!? " i was like SHUT UP! i DID NOT! hahahaha.. it was SO funny. cause he went around telling the whole world. and i scolded mum and told her not to be kay-po when she tried standing there to get it all in. hah. aft tt , we headed to gardens! for lunch. then .. met up with afiq in the library to study. -(thank god he saved the space! it was fully PACKED!)

today. as per norm was just SCHOOL.nthing much actually.really. ANYWAY! i've gotten over some stuffs edi. but im still fucking pissed that i was kept frm so much things. still. really .. it all goes down to what sorta person u are. and how u handle ur shit. i don;t wanna talk to u no more. - atleast when i can help it. and unless i really hv no choice.

if u think its easy , think again. it takes a lot of energy frm inside me to be able to be angry and not talk. still , im gonna do it.

----------

Now that it's all said and done
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up then tear me down
Like an old abandoned house
And what you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath
I fell too far, was in way too deep
Guess I let you get the best of me

Well I never saw it coming
I should've started running
A long, long time ago
And I never thought to doubt you
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I’m slowly getting closure
I guess it's really over
I’m finally getting better
Now I’m picking up the pieces
And spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
Cause the day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you

You took a hammer to these walls
Dragged the memories down the hall
Packed your bags and walked away
There was nothing I could say
And when you slammed the front door shut
A lot of others opened up
So did my eyes, so I could see
That you were never the best for me

Well I never saw it coming
I should've started running
A long, long time ago
And I never thought to doubt you
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I’m slowly getting closure
I guess it's really over
I’m finally getting better
Now I’m picking up the pieces
And spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
Cause the day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you

I’m putting my heart back together
Cause I got over you
I got over you

Cause the day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you

goodnight.

there's only one thing for me to look on at now.

2007-04-20T10:23:00.000-07:00

and so. school was off for me today! hahahahaa. i just didn't feel like going. and i wasn't feeling too good in the morning either. so i decided to sleep in .. till 11.30! ahaha. got up , had cereal for lunch and caught jamie oliver's show. hahahaha. and a portion of greys'. got ready and left home to meet gabs. catch up was wonderful. tt girl .... she's been enjoying life so much tt it shows! hahaha. sorry hon! had to let u head to town alone... i had no choice! i promise! aft my o's ... we'll go wild! hahahahaha. saw her kl pics. wah lau. i feel like i haven't been there before when i saw em. its just been so lonnnggg. hah. it was also very nice to hear all the stories . HAH. (:

aft studying and being productive - well,atleast i thought so. i went shopping with parents! hahahahahaha. and i bought more mags. cosmopolitan. which i f-ing expensive! gosh. so anyywaayy. i don't knw why. but i think i can't stop getting mags! its everywhere over at my place!!

okay. i didn't knw abt prayer meeting till alex messaged me in the evening. so ... i skipped it. and im worship leader for tmr's cell sess! haha. pls god... don't let me be late again! (the last time .. i was late for like 45mins man!) aft tt will be sunday service worship prac till late. ohhh... another weekend's coming.

thank god its friday night.

anyway. tt thing hanging over my neck cost 40buckaroos!!!! hahaha. its frm paragon. the FREESBIE! okay. and i knw! the picturee is dammnnnn retarded. ANYWAY.

goodbye people. happy weekend! (:
goodnight!

here in your arms

2007-04-19T07:13:00.000-07:00

screw the fact tt we've got her for our last yr.and screw her. i mean.. i knw i had nthing to do with the shit tt happened today and why she blew her brains up like tt. but .. i certainly was filled with pisstation , uncontrollable hatred at tt point and naturally the sense of being erked out. i mean WTH? u just flare up as u pls. when u don;t feel good , u freaking shout the crap outta urself.. and bring everything else in. when u don't actually bother normally. i cldn't be bothered to shout back. and even if i did , u'd probably do sm stupid thing to go against me. so what the heck? i;d rather just let all these emotions stay inside me and get my yr over and done with.

on another note. i skipped library today. i don;t knw why! i just felt like chilling so on my way back .. i stpped by the newsstand and got myself style , cleo and her world mags! and got home .. took a long bath and just read and chilled.

OUH! i wanna get the dvd for the movie closer. ALSO , i wanna catch midsummer night's dream! ... at fortcanning.

i've have a pile of work ! GOSH! tgif tmrw man!
i MIGHT be meeting gabs to head dwn twn tml aft lessons. bt then again , i end SO late. oh well. shall see!

and last i heard , joa's coming back soon! muhahaha. more holland.v coming up!

2007-04-17T21:45:00.000-07:00

okay. i need to post this up before i actually am able to head to bed!

I CAN'T FREAKING BELIEVE WE MISSED BnJ's FREE CONE DAY TODAY!!!!. - cause of a physics lesson. ): the annual event tt was nv missed.

OH CRAP XXXXXXXXZZZZZZ. !!!

---

okay. rant over. i don't care. call me a pig. bnj's turns it all on man.

2007-04-17T18:45:00.000-07:00

hello world! gabs in KL now! hahahahahaha. we'll meet up when she gets back! (((: anyway. its freaking tuesday! and im sick of the week edi. gosh. end pls end. bro left for taiwan sunday night. and before tt we were thinking of heading to gardens for dinner. at chompx2 . but .. we ended ourselves at old airport road. and then , aft tt ... we met up with friends at siglap ave.'s starbucks.

finally , huifen and i met up ystday. aft SO long!

i needaaa study. omg. today was totally wasted larh! hardly had any attention span on ANYTHING! like really. it was worst when the lessons started in the aftnoon man! ... i laughed and made joke at every single thing. and did everything else but my papers! gosh...

rs' band got silveeeerrrr! hah.

okay! i needa finish up work now!

----

This time all I want is you
There is no one else
Who can take your place
This time you burned me with your eyes
You see past all the lies
You take it all away

I've seen it all
And it's never enough
It keeps leaving me needing you

Take me away
Take me away
I've got nothing left to say
Just take me away

I try to make my way to you
But still I feel so lost
I don't know what else I can do

I've seen it all
And it's never enough
It keeps leaving me needing you

Take me away
Take me away
I've got nothing left to say
Just take me away

Don't give up on me yet
Don't forget who I am
I know I'm not there yet
But don't let me stay here alone

This time all I want is you
There is no one else
Who can take your place
I've seen enough
And it's never enough
It keeps me leaving me needing you

Take me away
Take me away
I've got nothing left to say
Just take me away

Take me away
Take me away
I've got nothing left to say
Just take me away

2007-04-13T12:48:00.000-07:00

hello. thank god the weekend's here!
(:

ystday.aft lessons, we all stayed back to have lunch and just slaccckkk. it was raining.so the guys left and headed to cwp.we girls stayed behind.. and played the soccer-monkey. HAHAHAHA. it was damn stupid. cause there was this guy tt was damn sick! so .. anyway. when they left for kendrick;s place , i left for meet up with joanne. hahaha. yeah. so we hung round .. and later with marj for dinner.

i need new things in life.

ciao.

2007-04-11T22:44:00.000-07:00

im back. i teared BADLY on sunday man. the testimonies by the 3 were awesome! it brought a real touch in the heart.

so.anyway. been SORTA slogging the oh-so-LITTLE guts i have out the past few days. doing things i'd nv thought id ever start. so thank god mannnn.

---------
okay. i have to make this clear. you. seriously you.
im sick and tired of habouring the same old thoughts. there isn't a fucking point when ur trying your best to keep whatever it is u wanna hide frm this person and putting in SO much effort in it. bt yet.. it goes unnoticed cause you can't knw. i mean. what's the whole damn point right!?! AND. u make it seem like ur setting your priorities right. u knw where i stand.. but yet!? . u carry it so differently when we reach such circumstances. yes. go ahead .. let ur emotions go. i knw im being selfish. but wasn't what i initially predicted already true ?! didn't it show itself aft a week or 2 ?so what ? ur just gonna let tt person hurt u again rite ?
OKAY.like what the hell am i thinking man. u don't even come here no more! u said it urself. when i thght u picked the carnival pics frm here.

fuck
the emotions.
the feelings.
the promises.
the times you made me smile.
the reassurance.

i'll just hold my emotions like a puppet.
because like a puppet , i can't speak. not to u-when im feeling like this.
---------

british flicks pulls the laughter outta me man. its so full of shit but ironically filled with substance.

its hard to be on the side tt ppl expect highly of u. cause u just wanna please everyone tt wants you to do well. but u find it so difficult.

so anyway.
times' flying really quickly. and we;re allll getting real busy.

ouh!

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. - for those tt knw.

okay! gotta ciao now!
see ya'll!

2007-04-06T19:06:00.000-07:00

okay. i guess my last post worked! the one about casting dwn my perceptions .. and just doing good for sports carnival! so.. we got freaking 2nd man! hahaha. yeah. and the soccer guys did awesome too! they got first! and.. as usual G.H came in first for short putt and atika 3rd for longjump.

bandy ended before 11.aam. last match was btwn us and 5/1. the girls beat us in the penalty shootout.in the aftnoon.class had pizza ordered in for lunch. time passed esp fast when i was supposedly trying to rest in 5/1 but got myself into a whole pile of big laughs. it was quite cool to see em all start dancing as if they've gone high on smthing. but... yeah. it made time pass fast. (:

so results were out. and we assembled back at the p.square.

had a damn long talk with mingmin before i headed back to my class. time's passing so fast man! just a year ago , they were all still in rs. DAMN! soon , we'll be taking the o;s. anyway.....

a lot of us had medals to bring back. which i thought was good .. this being our last yr.

aft the whole meet , edd, sebas,ralph,lrc and i headed for dinner at cwp. jp,jowell and ml joined us later. sebas left aft dinner and we walked around abit. aft tt , we headed to civics and left around 10plus.

ystday was damn shag man. considering the fact tt i slept at 2am the night before sucked even more. i got home , bathed and slept.
-----
today's just slack-day!
hahahahaha. rite. heading out now! see ya'll.

ANYWAY! here are pictures of ystday!

2007-04-02T20:25:00.000-07:00

people have phases. i do too.

i'll be able to push myself so hard at one point , such tt killing myself doesn't seem to matter anymore.

and.. at another point. i'll just not do anything. and ignore that fact tt if i don't do anything , i'd actually kill myself even more.

its just the phase!

but its just imptant to knw tt kicking myself back into the "do smthing. so even if u die, u knw u've done ur best" phase is more impt then anything else rite now.

i think i've got it back. bt i can't be too sure can i ?

and. ive implemented smthing new in life. (: i hope i stick to it.

----

on another note.
i hope this note gets to u.
as much as it may seem like i hate u , deep dwn. part of me is just filled with regret.the regret tt we nv continued as what we were. and the regret tt u turned out to lie to me tt once. i really nv had anything against u. neither do i have any now. its just tt even when we don't communicate , i still expect u to be respecting me and not going ahead with dumb assumptions. BECAUSE , we were once friends! i guess it nv occurred to u how much the friend-relationships when we were younger mattered to me. still. whether u feel the same way as i do. i just felt tt u need to knw this. i don't act the way i do because of what other ppl say or feel. i feel this way toward u cause u've done smthing to disappoint me. yeah...bt if there's any chance of u un-doing it. i'd let u have it. provided i knw u for who u are.

----

SO. its the annual sports carnival this thurs. and... BANDY AGAIN. i hate to say this.but yr in yr out.. the grp of us ,we go in the court.when we enter we play. when we're out we rest. and aft tt ... the chapter's closed. we don't interact u see. this time, being the last time , and yr , .. i promise... i'd cast all my assumptions dwn and just go ahead with the game. and feel it all out with u guys. (:

SEE YAll'!

2007-04-01T21:50:00.000-07:00

CHURCH. finally. i was back at ctbc. aft 2weeks of not going down. so anyway. aft service , zw caught up with me and asked me abt china..hearing tt i fell ill there. before i cld get dwn to answering him,AQ came up to me and asked me to help out in easter sunday.. to do back up for worship with the kids. so .. aft service.. it was abit of catching up with the churchies... and then ... , zw came up and wanted to talk! but i was on my way back to the hall for worship prac. so... i only got out at like 2.30pm. and then .. his mum was sitting round with him. and so ... we all talked. -_- . HAH. i thght it was damn funny. cause even the mum knew tt i was going to china. he made it such a big issue! SO , i had to get on with things... and then .. he made it easier for me to break off the conver (cause we were with his mum) by asking to get on with my things. and supposedly , we were suppose to catch up aft his mum left ... bt i left right aft i talked to uncle edmund and uncle philip abt my trip .. and passing em the stuffs. SO , one more week.. ):

Cause there's something in the way you look at me
It's as if my heart knows
You're the missing piece
You make me believe that there's nothin'
in this world I can't be
I never know what you see but there's
somethin' in the way you look at me

--------------
hahahahahahahahaha.

im damn tired! cause... ystday night was spent on the phone till freaking 4AM in the morning! im just glad i have someone else tt;s there for me(:

just for the record. and for self-motivation , im starting TOMORROW! . yeaps!

AND SHIT! my iriver's in a mess! and i can't organise it properly!!!! DIE MAN.

ouh. and euo's reliefing at SRJC! how cool is that!? . very! (ok.wait.why am i answering my own qns ?)

THIS LINK IS BLOODILY FUNNY!.

so.yeah.i've gotta get dwn to my work now! see ya;ll! (:

PS:

HAPPY APRIL FOOLS! (:
hah. i rmbered sec 2 , we bought oreo cookies and removed the cream inside. and stuck toothpaste back in.it was damn funny !! cause when ppl ate it .. they freaking thought it was a new flavour!hahahahahah.... RITE. see yall!

2007-03-31T23:59:00.000-07:00

people grw up. they really do. and when they do .. they change. they become smone u'd nv expect them to be when u were close friends 8yrs back. which is quite disappointing considering the fact tt you talked and enjoyed each other's company .. but grw up knwing the other person's presence bt not communicating.

so. JY and i were damn good friends when we were 10yrs old. i mean. we sat tgther in class. and did practically EVERYTHING tgther i tell u. he was quite clever. i rmber there was once tt i really fell. and kept shut the whole day and teared abit. he freaking put his hand on my head and told me not to cry la! i mean... at tt point it meant a lot to me.plus can u imagine the mind of a 10-yr-old ? not to mention BOY. at tt age they'd probably be shunning away frm us girls. the whole of p4 was spent tgther and i looked forward going to sch everyday cause of him. the next yr , when we entered yr5 , he was not around anymore. he switched his sch. aft tt i got through yr5 and 6 .. already forgetting him.

last yr , it hit me. how can smone so dear , be forgotten just like that ? suddenly..(call this god's work or what ), i freaking landed on his friendster page one day. and so .. we got into contact again.he rmbered what cca i was in man! i was rmbered as the band girl.but now .. its different. we have no.s we have e-mails. bt its different. its different now.

i guess tt moment's meant only for tt moment. we can nv bring back the past. neither can i hold on to what i have now .. and say tt it'd be still goin strng in the future. the matter is to treasure the current situation and make the best outta it. when u realise tt there;s no point holding onto smthing .. let go of it. don't hold onto smthing u can't. it'll only kill u inside more.

still. things like tt are god-sent.

(:

-----

on a totally different note. i got another wake up call today. i don't knw. but the impact of my brother talking or reprimanding me is really strng. i cry damn easily. well maybe its cause i knw tt everything he says makes sense. and is true. so yeah.. it worked last yr. i hope it does this yr.

and i skipped cell today.

yeah.

------

it gets tiring.

let go. let the flow go.

2007-03-30T17:31:00.000-07:00

and so. this morning , i got up .. washed up and changed into blazer's shirt. abt to pack my back , i suddenly felt like SHIT! (im really sick okay!) . really. so i just layed in bed. and then.. decided not to head to school.

so anyway. was suppose to meet the two girls dwn at vivo. then maybe meet gab up for dinner. but plans are all cancelled. so , im currently stuck hm... trying to do constructive things with my time. (: haha.

this week's been tolerable. i;ve really learnt tt i shldn't depend too much on just one person. cause when this one person lets u dwn ... it hurts to the max .. such that u nv wanna talk to him again. well .. atleast im trying to.

LISA ONO's GOOD! - random.

---------------
Have I been sleeping?
I’ve been so still
Afraid of crumbling
Have I been careless?
Dismissing all the distant rumblings
Take me where I am supposed to be
To comprehend the things that I can’t see

Cause I need to move
I need to wake up
I need to change
I need to shake up
To I need to speak out
Something’s got to break up
I’ve been asleep
And I need to wake up
Now

i really think tt due to so much tt has been happening. i've matured a lot in a sense. and i really thank god for tt!

i need a place to bunk in. period.

2007-03-27T05:25:00.001-07:00

im filled with fuckness. pure fuckness.

i can't blame it on my parents. its just the way i was brght up. maybe its the people i hang out with. i guess im used to it all. i can't live without the assurance of not having it around me. i don't knw why im so different , and i why i go all wobbly when i see smthing lovely and decide to get it but in the end not use it. i dont knw why i get a few pieces of the same thing when i just need one.. i don't knw why i just talk and talk and talk without feeling the shit guilt i'll feel when the letter comes. its the highlife i tell u. i am shittingly used to it.-which sucks in a way. okay. maybe its my mentality. . but still!? there must be a reason why im in sucha state of my ain't it ?

it sucks to feel this way. it sucks to knw tt aft everything , and aft all the great enjoyment i feel , - i'll still fall back into this pit tt will take me a really long time to climb before i get out and enjoy again , and thereafter falling back in.

oh gawwwwwddd.
letting both parents dwn at the same time really sucks. really. and it isn't gonna help when i show them my result slip.

this week hasn't been good. infact , aft arriving back here .. i feel awkwardly worst! when i was suppose to feel better aft the supposedly "break" away frm everything.

call me the emo kid right now , i really don't care. cause i really have too much on hand. and i can't help but feel like shit. okay... much worst then shit.

people have too high of expectations toward me.
i can't control and discipline myself
i can't set priorities right
there are too much distractions
im losing a lot of things i use to have
the one i expect to be there to listen is not there for me
the weather's BLOOODDILLY HOT AND HUMID!
i can't study without the air-con on.. (its spoilt)
im lacking behind.
so many are enjoying life now... i cant help but be distracted.
my life has been really seperated frm god recently.
im doing things my own way...

see. i dont think i can handle my o's this yr man. really. tooo much shit is going on.

one day , i'll just keep shut , sit there , ruminate blankness in my head and go crazy.

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
-----------------

life really does suck smtimes.
this is an inexorable truth.
but... we'll just have to work to make it better.

2007-03-25T13:42:00.000-07:00

and so im back! hah. was back thurs morn edi. touched dwn at 1am. we were excused frm school on thurs! so .. i slept in. and dinnered with jo and marj tt day. fri was back to sch. and craaappp.. i was so lost during math man! arh. i reminisce the whole village stay and the trip in china. it was truly an eye-opener! and it rawked tt we were spending our last two days really enjoying and relaxing and shopping when the rest were back in sch slogging out! hahahaa. rite. shan't be evil here! still. i thght i bought a lot .. cause in just a day , i freaking bought 3 bags! ha. it felt real good man! hah. i got dvds to! yeah.. some tidbits and a wallet for sis.

fri was spent on chinese lessons aft sch. and then lunch with the guys and marj. aft tt , we met up with joanne. caught stomp the yard. it was really good! (: yeaahh. we hung around abit before heading off.

sat was meet up with gabs! and we decided to head dwn to the hongkong cafe ! the food was good man i tell u! ((: . haha. but the waiting time was damn long also.. to get into the cafe. so yeah. we hung around.. and caught up. and took nr2 back.

today was service at ycca , jo's church. and then lunch with vivien. back home now!

im damn lazy to post the pics one by one cause blogger takes damn long to load the pic!
so .. i've compiled everything under this link! so ya;ll can check em out! (:

http://melchanal.multiply.com/photos/album/1

arh. meanwhile. i've gotta get back to my life. gosh. the past 2 weeks were damn slack and holiday-ish. i neeeeedaaa work man! have to! have not touched my books for like a damn long time. anyway. im quite set on joining PAmemberships for cheap rentals . hahahaah. (: okay!

okay! nuff said! gotta get back to the routined life now.see ya'll! (:

PS! : today's the last day of club21's bazaar! for ppl interested , venue's at holiday inn atrium lvl 4! (: check it out!

2007-03-11T23:49:00.000-07:00

blasting rachael yamagata;s the reason why.

-
i just finished packing. and i can't believe we're leaving so soon! gosh. the amount of crap we had to put in. just for the raising of funds. but it just pays to work and knw u've earned and reached ur goal when the hard work's put in.

so anyway. today was spent going for service in the morning and then easter sunday prog meeting. hahahahaha. and aft tt was just hang out at hp and the damn long talk with liangwei. (: alot of us are being sheltered frm the different things that are happening around. its just so real tt things are happening. but we're sheltered frm it all. when we actually start realizing its happening , we break dwn cause its too much to comprehend. still he works and change lives. its really special to see someone change so drastically for the better aft going through the toughest and crappiest part of life.

on a another note.
i haven't done this in a really long time. but i thank u for being there to tell me that i've been going on strong. tt ur proud to knw tt im still hanging on and to still be there to tell me when i've done smthing stupid. it makes carrying on much easier. the tears shed , the emotions produced , the tensity of it all. but u were there. thank you guy.

sat night was meet up with gabs! (: we finally got to meet up aft so long! haha.

today , h.m was really funny when he text-ed me in morning , thinking i was flying off today. HAH. yeah. he was abit malu.and he wanted to meet up! yeah. bt i had meetings! anyway.

tomorrow will be meet up with the girls for lunch! and then maybe with gabs again. will see how!

take care ya;ll! (:

2007-03-10T13:48:00.000-08:00

trip preps are going well.we've reached the 5000 target. things are getting done. and we're leaving monday. anyway. a lot's been going on the past week.

i;ve got the guess women's now! finally i can stop davidoff awhile. anyway. ystday was suppose to be meet up with euo at raffles place at 9. but i fell asleep and woke up only at 8! i wasn't planning to go dwn aft tt. but she ringed me up to dragg me out! hahaha.. yeah. so .. i sorta reached dwn only at 9.30pm. we walked abit and settled at clarity's again. haah. ystday was a hot hangout. both all-timed goodfriend waiters were there. and it was full house!

so anyway. we ate , talked , laughed , burped , dessert-ed , drank and really shared. its been really long since we've done tt. rite. so , aft all tt , meal was on her. keeping to her promise a few months back with treating aft getting the pay. then we walked more. and went through swiss hotel. then we headed back.

at home , was the damn long chat with sebas again. haha. we ended conver at 2am. i was practically slp talking to him i tell u.

week's been filled with bloody file and book checks.

and im amazed at the fact tt arnold still rmbers me! he just said hi through euo. hahaha. anway. i've gotta go start packing . i pray i don't foget to bring my cam or my passport or my phone. or bring my cam bt forget to bring my xd card. gosh.

i'll see if im back here updating before i leave . if not happy holidays everyone! (: see ya'll one week aft term starts! (:

loves!

2007-03-01T20:38:00.000-08:00

im home. its a thursday. and its 11am nw. go firgure.

yesterday was rushing outta sch with sebas,cel and viv in m.kok's car to get the bottles frm hiding place. haha. and then. W.Z/L.W was there! yeah. so we just smiled. and then. turns out. uncle philip knws m.kok frm thier SJI days. and they were just talking and talking while the few of us went to get bottles frm the printing rm with uncle richard. aft tt , we left and headed to ttsh for our jabs. i took like 3 damn jabs in a row okay! yeah. it was a first. i was feeling damn shitty aft tt. and my head was spinning like hell a lot. and i practically fell asleep in m.kok's car. hah. rite.

so when we got back to sch. we had to go through another round of meeting. and then when we ended , we hung around abit in the canteen. i was damn sickly. and i wanted to wait for mum to come. so i told the girls to go back first. but then. she took bloodily long just to reach. so i told her i'd make my way back. goodfriend was damn busy. so he shoved 4bucks up me and told me to take a cab back and rest. HAHA. kiddinglarh. i knocked out strght when i got home. and woke up at 8pm. aft tt was work all the way.

this morning , i woke up and got sick of tt sch bitch making so much noise. so i told mum i'd be staying home to finish her damn work. she's pulling the shit outta me i tell u. gosh. bloody complainer man.

ANYWAY. im so caught up with sch. i haven't had the time to meet up with gabs and bing! .. euo too. u guys better be free soon! ((:

i miss my wacky/slackish life man! gosh.

anyway. its the goal tt im reaching tt im working for la.

OUH! all e best to all u a-level result receivers this fri! (:

goodbye ya'll! (:

2007-02-26T02:32:00.003-08:00

sat evening was spent at sebas's place.he invited us dwn for dinner. okay.we sorta stayed till 2am playing blackjack.and then decided not to head home.so yeah. we stayed over and went dwn to the clubhouse to continue. we played till we were damn sian. cause everyone was losing! hahahahahaha. and thing is , i was winning hell A LOT man. rite. so .. we were all damn tired and headed up. lrc and jp knocked out strght on sebas's bed.edd , jowell and sebas were sleeping int he hall. and viv, ml and i slept on the freaking floorin sebas's room. through the night , there were some damn funny things tt happened. ANYWAY. we woke up sunday morning and headed to KAP's macs for breakfast and then we bus-ed back.

evening was spent at the airport. the grp of us went to send jolyn off. then we dinner-ed at fish and co. and walked abit and shopped. then we headed back home.

today , school was okaaayyy.

im like damn shag now. i've hardly had enough slp. i have a damn big pile of work to finish up! it kills!

gtg! u guys take care! see ya'll! (:

2007-02-24T13:59:00.000-08:00

ang pow collection this yr wasn;t tt bad.
anyway. so much's happened!and i havent' been blogging for some time.

so,
other then the skipping of lessons.
i've been doing visitations. and hellll lot of eating. omg. seriously. listing it out will only make it worst. so .. yeah. there are just toooo many dinners and lunches tt i have to attend. so. yes.
school's beeen a drag. seriously. i don;t knw what it is . bt every aspect of it isn't what i expected this yr. neither have the expectations of my plans been successful. its a pain to knw what to do , yet not do anything... because im so caught up with everything else.

ystday , the 7 of us, namely marj,viv,jolyn,cel,yj,joanne and i met up for dinner. time passes damn fast. jolyn's flying off on sunday to melborne . yj's probably gonna be entering ACjc , joanne SAjc , marj into a poly and viv , cel and i heading towards the end of year to finally take our o's.

rite. so .. anyway. thing is. we met up and had dinner at seoul's. damn full i tell u. and joanne and her whole "egg scene" -_- . hah. rite. dinner was good and all. atleast we get to meet up before jolyn leaves.

uncle jerry's.

aunty mable's
dont ask.pls.sweet though! sakura's.hp.grp.

euo

sis,val,euo

----------
ystday's dinner!

----

2007-02-15T09:30:00.001-08:00

thank you edd.k for tonight! hahahaha. yeah. rather shocking though! and so , edd and i met up. we got a cake for the birthday girl , met her up outside swensens aft 16 FREAKING PHONE CALLS!to pass it to her. yeah. then ... we left and headed out to just chill abit. there were STARS! i mean. seriously. woodlands ? stars? clear ? . rite. i just got back larh. and its 12AM! hah. i need to pack my room. I NEEEEEED TO! .

anyway. it sucks big time to knw tt the one u cared for so dearly doesn't reciprocate at all. AT ALL. it sucks. it really does.

im done feeling this way.

its up to u now.

okay! night. meet up for lunching tml ? we;ll see! (:

hey you! thank you! (:

2007-02-15T00:43:00.001-08:00

gosh. im off school again.

ystday wasn;t bad at all! hah. the sales were all pretty good! and thank u all for the presents! esp gabs! it was SWEET ! yeah. anywaayyy.. aft sch , it was meet up and lunch with gabs. aft tt , i headed to her place to get changed and washed up. then , i left and headed to hp for duty.

david/zhewei was there. HAHA. okay. so... i spent my day fully doing duty and us talking like A LOT.- again. he came up to sit and talk quite abit. and then .. . aft my duty , i was helping out at his area.so ... yeah. but it was abit difficult to really talk cause aunt.e was there. so yeah... we crapped a lot after they left. i was with joa joa later part of the night. and she was SO SICK LARH! haha. the whole underwear thing was already bad enough. haha. anywayy.. i left hp only at 12 freaking AM!

yeah. i talked to my mum and she agreed to let me not head to school today. atleast i thank god she understands what im going through. serious.

-i prayyyyyyyyyyy for it to be real. the certain hints is a terrible feeling. i thank god u've changed ur whole self too man! (: and its really good to share with u.

now. bazaars' ending this sat. no more frequent trips to hp edi..... ):

ANYWAY! i've gotta get things done now! - pack my room . -_-

see ya;ll!

ouhhh...

HAPPY 17th VIVIEN!

2007-02-12T13:43:00.000-08:00

im still sticking by my last post. maybe for now.

maybe i need the time.

---

fri was duty at hp tilll late! hah. and gabs came dwn to hp to have supper and the catching up. aft duty bro , gabs and i cabbed dwn to jalan kayu for prata! hahahaha. and then we talked. and mum came to fetch us up later aft tt. and then sent gab back.

sat was pigging out till 2. and then i had lunch and met up with libing. then we went to i@fiesta. i had to spend the ticket away. cause kieth was sick. so .... due to going there late. i resorted to buying 9 balloons. i only kept one. i gave it out to lil kids aft i left ij. SHAN WEE was there. wasn't as cute as i pictured him in real life circumstances. haha. rite. so libing and i left ij and decided to head to bukit timah for drinks. THEN , i wanted to go to the airpot so badly. so we changed our minds and went dwn. we had popeyes for dinner! yeah. we walked , talked , laughed a lot. HAHAHA. yeah. then we left and headed home. ((:

sunday , i didn't attend service. it was strght up to the bazaar for duty. people were getting irritated cause they cldn't get their pineapple tarts. -_- and they ended up being pissed at ME. gosh. so i had duty till 3. then i rested abit. and LIANG WEI shouted at me , signaling for me to go into the room. so when i went in , he was like EH! HELP LEH! .. hahaha . so yeah. that was how i ended up in the pineapple tart room for 5 hours. it was quite cool actually. being able to find out about the lives of these people. ouh. and amos is gonna be coming to RS aft cny! hah. yeaaaaaaaahhh....... shit. now. tt E.C and i are close , there s no more thrill! hahahah. damn.

anyway. euo and gabs think tt E.C's a disappointment. HAH.
i shall not continuee.

okay!. today. im not in school .AGAIN. bt ,i'll have to start getting ready to go dwn now. mr.kok's driving me dwn to collect roses for wed! aft tt';s dinner with the girls!

gtg!

see ya'll!

2007-02-07T23:59:00.000-08:00

i've just came to a conclusion - that nthing can be held on for too long.well , atleast for now.

the thing is , i hope for too much in return. but yet , when i don't get it , i still continue hoping... knwing very well , nthing's gonna come out of "being nice" . so what's the point ? trying to retain or maintaining smthing , but knwing very well its spoilt. and unfixable ?

its like trying to make a dead cat come alive again. yes.

i've thought about it. and its too much for me to handle. no point hanging/holding on to it.

so .... one really late resolution to try and make happen this yr , is to let go of everything , in a sense not reciprocative ? yeah. i guess. its not just the info man. its just everything.

yeah. and really , its just sickening to knw that u don't care.

------
i've been so busy lately , i hardly have time to breath. time catches up and it gets to me . whenever i see how badly i suck at chaps. esp today. soon , another yr's gonna end. and it;ll all go dwn to tt one piece of paper. with no.s written all over it.
-------

i guess , i'll let go and learn my lesson.
no more heartfelt things.

HAPPY 17th LJP! (:

2007-02-05T11:06:00.000-08:00

okay.. fri was spent on F.S , classcomm meeting and china trip meeting. we managed to cover a lot actually. then , i rang alex up .. , hoping he'd still be around the corner. so he can drive me to hp. thankfully he was. so , he waited at the taxi stand. and honked DAMN loudly when i reached. so MALU la! . haha.. yeah. we talked quite a bit .. and we almost got into accidents TWICE cause of me...... talking. and laughing terribly. hahaahah.. yeah. we reached hp .. and had dinner. then .. shift started. and gosh.... we were doing the tarts... and L.W was laughing at my incapability to handle two things at one time. HAHAHAHA. rite. we left hp only at 1am.

sat was meeting in school. again. we got dwn to preparing the stuffs. aft tt , vivien and i lunched with maurice. and ... the bunch of really greedy people. -_-. mainly , EDDIE KOH , and LJP. haha. they just kept picking and picking.. okay.. atleast jp didn't. eddie was a full pig i tell u! i had to resort to covering my food. GOSH. hahaha. aft tt , we left and i headed home to get worship and games ready. then i headed to hp again. i seriously suck at whacko i tell u. they just kept laughing and laughing at me. and forfeit was done with an AJC boy larh. i've been maluating myself alot this days. aft tt was bazaar again.

sunday was worship , backing-up. sat with joa this time. she told me tt she was addicted to foot reflexology. -_- . so sick RIGHT!? hah. anyway.. aft service. i did cashiering. there was this man tt bought 11things of each kind man! he's DAMN rich. and he comes every year. hah. he was really friendly. anyway.... got back like late again.

today , im home. skipped school. due to the massive amount of shit in my nose. hahahaha. okay ... in simpler terms , im sick. partially due to the high interaction with sick people. anyway. i have to make use of today to finish up things. .. i don't have time for. (if i head to school.)
so yeah.

okay. i need to rush out some things now. see ya;ll!

2007-01-28T23:59:00.000-08:00

i think having made a point to wake up so damn early this morning paid off. as much as i didn't want to ... cause i wanted to meet up with the guys for edd's bd celebs , i still made it for serivce. and worship today was led by an Australian pastor. it was really good. aftnoon was spent at marina square with the family for dad's birthday! and then .. we were off shopping. and guess who i saw .. BRENDAN! hah. apparently we passed each other twice. but i didnt realised he was staring straight at me until bro was like "EH! bren;s staring strght at u la! can u do smthing!?!" hahahaha. yah. i was suppose to meet euo at fareast .. to ... erh.... SHOP!? hah. yeah. but i was spending too much time over at marina.. so i told her to go ahead with esh. and then .. mum wanted to drive me dwn to meet up with the bunch of 5. but... they were in the movies! so .. i decided to just slp through my ride... and head home.

anyway. i was just reminded by lrc .. tt we have A LOT of work to do. and i've nt touched any.
i have yet to set my priorities man! i've been out living the high life way tooooo much.heading dwn twn every weekend .. and spending so much. meeting up with euo dwn twn aft her work.. ON A WEEKDAY .. or on a SCHDAY. shit! its the yr i've been working towards. and im wasting the first month so unproductively. set set set set SETT!

You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with Your hand
And lead me in Your righteousness

And I look to You
And I wait on You

I'll sing to You Lord
A hymn of Love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go
Through it all

2007-01-27T23:59:00.000-08:00

aunty cn called fri night to make sure i was alright. she made sure also by getting euo to come up with some really stupid reason to start a convo with me. . and then by asking me if i was alright. hahaha. the question was "what time does cashier training start ? " -_-

still. (:

on fri , when we met up , she passed me a 3 full A4-paged long letter. HAHA. apparently she wrote tt letter in office! - when she wasn't suppose to! hahahaha. naughty girl. thank god aunt shirley didn't catch her or smthing. hah. anyways, i cried when i read the letter! it touched every aspect of why i was feeling like shit! she managed to automatically make me feel better by just pending out tt 3 paged letter. it was really heart warming. seriously. i thank god. i do.

anyway. cashier training was good. im just quite sad tt EC;s nt doing cashier station duty ! , else... HAHAHA. okay. damn dumb. anyway. aft training was prayer meeting. mum drove euo to sengkang station. then we drove back to HP. and attended prayer meeting. we sorta left aft P.M.

---

today , i was supposedly suppose to clean up the big mess in my room. BUT. i didn't manage to. and mum is on the verge of killing me. cause she wants it packed by tml (sunday) . cause... when the bazzar starts , i'll be damn busy. and i won't have time for my room. so yeah. and .. right aft bazzar's CNY! and i can't leave my room like tt. HAHAHA. yeah. so , tml's clean-up-day!

yeah. anyway. i headed to gab's place just now. for abit of updating.HAHA. so i knw. (: anyway. it was good to just sit and talk larh. and to laugh at certain funny things she did. hahahahaaha. okay... yeah. and i thought her bro was C.U.T.E. ... (: right.anyway, aft tt , i left her place and met sis for the jog.VERY PRODUCTIVE OKAY! hahahahaaha. we got back .. and sat a block away frm ours to just talllkkkk.. and then the rain came dwn! gosh. thank god it didn't come dwn while we were jogging man. hahaa.

okay larh. i have to head to bed now. service tml , then either lunching with cell at the prata place! haha.. or lunching dwn twn then the meet up with the guys. for edd's bd. i don't knw yet! i still have dad's bd dinner to attend at night man! and i have assignments left undone. HOW !? u tell meeee ?

....... i need to start my routined plan for my books . i'll set a date. soon.

and i will run to you,
to your words of truth,
nt by might,nt by power,
but by the spirit of god.

yes i will run the race ,
till i see your face.
oh let me live in the glory of your grace.

as much as im going through now, i'll just go on. cause i knw he won't put too much weight on for me to carry when he knws tt its beyond what i can bear.

everything happens , happens for a reason. i grw stronger. knwing i'll learn frm everything tt's happening.

it's all in the mind. (:

currently 03.13AM -

oh.

HAPPY SWEET 17th EDDIE KOH. (28th)