ruminate in the darkness.

memories./object of memories.
sometimes. as much as we knw the fact that an object might do harm to our emotions , we still keep it , why? when we hold on to an object of memory , the first thing that hits us is normally the deepest part of whatever object holds. so we naturally have the tendency to feel worst first. when we think of the point of keeping it, we then realise that along with the disappointment and everything that pushes us to feel like our worst , it also is tagged with the better things that once happened and the things that when we think about , we can't help but have the blood in our body rush fast , slowly erasing the worst feelings for a few mins and putting a smile back on our faces. we then decide to not get rid of it , pack it up and keep it safe again like how we always used to. then , the next time you happen to open it up , the worst comes back first.

the vicious cycle.

this also more or less explains why people can oversee the worst of someone. because ultimately,the rest of the person touches you in a way.

-
the holidays i must say have been really fruitful. well , in the sense of blasting fun! but , it equally or doubles the guilt i feel for not having touched my books for a full WEEK!(well more then that) omg. i mean call me a studybuggermugger or what! but ! im feeling the guilt guilt guilt!! bt i don't knw why i can't get down to working my butt off!
[see , mon was the bbq, tues was the lunch/dinner/movie marathon sess at sha;s place till wed , thurs was school in the morn and sleep in the aftnoon , fri was oversleeping and not making it for lessons and swimming laps and funny crappy things that happened.] 5 DAYS GONE!

and the worst crap!? im planning on taking these subs for my A-level combi (IF I DO GET IN!): math, econs , lit and either chem/phy. im really laughing and wondering how im going to ever make it. i knw i hv to study. i just can't get dwn to it aft the prelims!

right. enough rant about my education. i'll work it out.somehow. with all the help in the world. and ofcourse strength from the dearest!
-
for the record , i've got no intentions of letting go of the promise i once made of erasing what we used to have.pls do not listen to how SOME ppl picture it to be. i knw they were kidding though. its for you to knw to not take it in you.