when i feel tt i've tried and done my best to withstand the amount of tiredness and disappointment faced, and i feel like giving up, im reminded tt it isn't his fault. im just really crushed tt such a thing is happening. and i don't knw hw to deal with it as it gets worst. i can only pray tt god wld leave a miracle. and make daddy seem alright again. i cry everytime i think about the things i have to face when it develops.i yearn for smone i can talk to , cry on , and for him/her to tell me tt everythings gonna be alright.though i knw it nv wld. i miss my daddy. i miss the way i use to have him as a real and stable pillar of strength tt i cld turn to.the way i cld confide in him about my primary sch crush when he came back frm buisness trips and how i cld just sit and talk to him for hours without feeling the need to take control of the conversation.even the way he cld talk to my guy classmate on the phone in pri6 when he got dump , making him feel better. now, its just different. i can actually say tt its smtimes embarrassing to allow friends to knw whats happening.tt's why i've been keeping it to myself for such a long time. because i knw tt they'd nv knw how it feels like. and they'd wldn't knw how to react to it.


day by day ... i pray.
yet. i knw its just gonna stay the same or grow worst.
yet, i still pray.

i have to say tt i'd probabbly be a screwed up kid , pitying myself much more then this.and cutting my arms with the penknife if i God wasnt in my life. He's the reason i can withstand the hurt within for so long. and i thank you. (: