when i feel like crap. the people i want most to be there.isn't. and sometimes ... i'd just rather shut the door in the unlit rm , shouting , screaming , whining , complaining and crying. whatever it took for me to get rid of the terrible disappointment of everything around me , i did it.

ofcourse nt everything's a disappointment. but , most of it though .. at this point.

the embarrassment of having to call smone in to help solve the problem.
the insensitiveness of sm people.
and the hope i held in this person to always be there , is slwly fading.


i mean seriously. some people really have the luxury man i tell u. to be able to enjoy every single bit of having a dad by their side.

currently , im having a terrible pain in the throat. due to ? go figure.

the disappointment in practically every aspect cannot be reversed overnight. neither can some of it be ever taken away.

i am currently the emo-fied shit.