im filled with fuckness. pure fuckness.
i can't blame it on my parents. its just the way i was brght up. maybe its the people i hang out with. i guess im used to it all. i can't live without the assurance of not having it around me. i don't knw why im so different , and i why i go all wobbly when i see smthing lovely and decide to get it but in the end not use it. i dont knw why i get a few pieces of the same thing when i just need one.. i don't knw why i just talk and talk and talk without feeling the shit guilt i'll feel when the letter comes. its the highlife i tell u. i am shittingly used to it.-which sucks in a way. okay. maybe its my mentality. . but still!? there must be a reason why im in sucha state of my ain't it ?
it sucks to feel this way. it sucks to knw tt aft everything , and aft all the great enjoyment i feel , - i'll still fall back into this pit tt will take me a really long time to climb before i get out and enjoy again , and thereafter falling back in.
oh gawwwwwddd.
letting both parents dwn at the same time really sucks. really. and it isn't gonna help when i show them my result slip.
this week hasn't been good. infact , aft arriving back here .. i feel awkwardly worst! when i was suppose to feel better aft the supposedly "break" away frm everything.
call me the emo kid right now , i really don't care. cause i really have too much on hand. and i can't help but feel like shit. okay... much worst then shit.
people have too high of expectations toward me.
i can't control and discipline myself
i can't set priorities right
there are too much distractions
im losing a lot of things i use to have
the one i expect to be there to listen is not there for me
the weather's BLOOODDILLY HOT AND HUMID!
i can't study without the air-con on.. (its spoilt)
im lacking behind.
so many are enjoying life now... i cant help but be distracted.
my life has been really seperated frm god recently.
im doing things my own way...
see. i dont think i can handle my o's this yr man. really. tooo much shit is going on.
one day , i'll just keep shut , sit there , ruminate blankness in my head and go crazy.
RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
-----------------
life really does suck smtimes.
this is an inexorable truth.
but... we'll just have to work to make it better.
i can't blame it on my parents. its just the way i was brght up. maybe its the people i hang out with. i guess im used to it all. i can't live without the assurance of not having it around me. i don't knw why im so different , and i why i go all wobbly when i see smthing lovely and decide to get it but in the end not use it. i dont knw why i get a few pieces of the same thing when i just need one.. i don't knw why i just talk and talk and talk without feeling the shit guilt i'll feel when the letter comes. its the highlife i tell u. i am shittingly used to it.-which sucks in a way. okay. maybe its my mentality. . but still!? there must be a reason why im in sucha state of my ain't it ?
it sucks to feel this way. it sucks to knw tt aft everything , and aft all the great enjoyment i feel , - i'll still fall back into this pit tt will take me a really long time to climb before i get out and enjoy again , and thereafter falling back in.
oh gawwwwwddd.
letting both parents dwn at the same time really sucks. really. and it isn't gonna help when i show them my result slip.
this week hasn't been good. infact , aft arriving back here .. i feel awkwardly worst! when i was suppose to feel better aft the supposedly "break" away frm everything.
call me the emo kid right now , i really don't care. cause i really have too much on hand. and i can't help but feel like shit. okay... much worst then shit.
people have too high of expectations toward me.
i can't control and discipline myself
i can't set priorities right
there are too much distractions
im losing a lot of things i use to have
the one i expect to be there to listen is not there for me
the weather's BLOOODDILLY HOT AND HUMID!
i can't study without the air-con on.. (its spoilt)
im lacking behind.
so many are enjoying life now... i cant help but be distracted.
my life has been really seperated frm god recently.
im doing things my own way...
see. i dont think i can handle my o's this yr man. really. tooo much shit is going on.
one day , i'll just keep shut , sit there , ruminate blankness in my head and go crazy.
RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
-----------------
life really does suck smtimes. this is an inexorable truth.
but... we'll just have to work to make it better.
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