thank you lord for the people i can fall back on. and for the indescribable comfort that tinges inside me when they bother to hear me out.

yesterday night was one of those that broke and tore me apart. everything amazingly seemed to take place really swiftly and as much as it may seemed like it didn't make sense , it did. i need god most now. i'll learn and i'll grw and understand soon , and in time to come , i'll get over every single detail (atleast i hope and pray so) , but just not now. a hiccup shldn't cause me to stop breathing ... aft a series of it , it'll pass and i'll be normal again. - just not now.

as i sat in my room in the night , the stillness was broken like how i was broken inside. i hate myself for ever thinking that we'd remain this way forever. u take for granted the fact that u mean much more to me than most people do.atleast now i knw what your stand is and how u can just shut the door in my face like that .. not considering the fact that may be i've left smthing in there .. all the feelings i guess.

it broke me .. it really did. it broke me to knw that u;d give up just like that. and it broke me even more to knw that you threw/deleted away the one thing that always acted as a form of reassurance.

i passed gab's blog. and i cldn't help but really be filled with emotions.

hey melc

you dont have to explain anything ; i know
The sense of loss is inexplicable; the rawness of your emotions feeding on you, you wondering how long it takes before your heart stops breaking. how emotional hurt can translate into physical pain....
thinking about how foolish you were assuming that the world was made of cupcakes and chocolate flakes
you'll wake up knowing that this was what it took to knock you to your senses , that you'll never allow that kind of intrusion ever again
but in this trauma dont allow cynicism to slip in , because trust me, it will be like a familiar friend , preventing you from embracing the greater love in this world
your family is who you can fall back on, and dont forget other friends more worthy of your time
ultimately, learn to forgive

lastly,
it definitely takes ALOT more to break you! God doesnt dole out more than what you can take. chin up girl, take on this experience and be stunned by the insight you'll gain . the world operates on a macro scale , so look at the big picture and learn to take things easy!
life goes on (as always) - you'll find that it's just like the 4 seasons .
somehow, we become more indifferent and our threshold for hurt expands. after a while, it's just a routine .....
but its better to fall and get up than always cautiously watching our backs and not embracing life at all


i'll always be here
love,
gab

i thank god for her. and for the people that bothered. u all mean much more than u guys think u mean to me. lastly, Sebastian for putting aside what he had to do to listen to me pour my hearts out and cry the night away.it all made me feel better.

and lastly but most importantly god. for the strength given to withstand it still.